Women don't like nice guys

[vonclod]

 Alright, let me put it the way I’d tell one of the guys I’ve worked with for years.
 
I’ve seen a lot of men convince themselves that women only want the loud, flashy types, especially in tech where half the guys barely look up from their screens. The thing is, women aren’t chasing troublemakers. We’re drawn to men who stand like they belong in their own skin. When a man walks around already believing he’s not good enough, it shows. You can feel it before he ever opens his mouth.
 
I’ve watched guys sabotage themselves because they kept thinking, “She’ll never want me,” and then acted like that was already true. That’s what pushes women away, not who they are underneath. And honestly, the men who finally figure it out didn’t wake up one day with swagger. They just stopped treating themselves like they were broken and started taking pride in their own lives. Confidence isn’t something you’re born with. It’s something you build by actually living.
 
You’re not being rejected as a man. You’re being overlooked because you keep hiding the part of you that’s worth seeing. Trust me, there’s nothing wrong with starting late. I’ve known plenty of guys who didn’t get it together until their forties or fifties, and once they did, everything changed for them.
 
You’re forty, not finished. You can still get the life you want. You just have to start showing up as the man you actually are instead of the one you’re afraid you might be.

I was going to say something along those lines but you said it perfectly!

[Orionthehunter]

If it makes you feel better I have 4 sisters and I usually don’t talk to them any more than necessary.  I do get along decently with the nearest sister but rarely talk to the other 3.  They have different political views or different other views that clash with my views so I definitely avoid those topics even when I am talking to them.  The sister that moved close to me has mostly the same views as me.  I believe if she had different views, she would have picked to live within the nearby much larger city with much higher taxes rather than a short drive away.  My younger brother is so busy, the few minutes I talked to him after a wedding was the most I talked to him in about a year and we both have the same views.  I have been very busy since a new boss took over and rarely get any time off anymore so I have no social life with anyone most of the time.  It’s a routine.  Work, eat, sleep, repeat.  At least you have time to think about other activities.  I had a rare Saturday off today.  It felt like a vacation day.  I have joked twice about using vacation time to take Saturday off.  

When I dream though, if I choose to do so, I can do whatever I wish.  I just hope if something feels hot and heavy that Im not interacting with some invisible demonic entity nor extraterrestrial  entity in some cases.  There was one time that involved one alien species I’d rather not talk about.  She had tentacles.  She was definitely not very humanoid.  I probably watched some weird science fiction show to dream that.

If you want to meet normal females, you could try to meet up or chat online first with females around your age.  There are several educational videos on YouTube about how to talk to people.   My Facebook reels had one goth female with a goth look, vampire teeth fangs, and a split tongue.  I thought with the makeup she looks really good.  Why is Facebook showing me her?  I probably saw her before and saved one of her pics or videos.  At least she didn’t look like she belonged in The Silent Hill movie.  I have been seeing that in other Facebook reels.  I’d try to stay away from creepy or crazy girls.  I haven’t done a great job at that in years past.

[Stealth Blimp]

Well thank you for most of the replies. 

I prefer being single and have accepted I always will be.

However I'm still embittered I never just had one girlfriend during my intensely lonely youth. Not even just one!

Oh well but I do blame women for placing so much importance on confidence. 

One thing I would never do is start a relationship with a woman who already had children. I would ask her, "why didn't she have my child?" I could never understand why any man would adopt another man's DNA. Just as I'm not interested in women my own age who were "partying" with the cocky guys in their youth but now want to settle down with someone dependable. Erm no... if she didn't want me in her prime, I certainly don't want her in her decline. Why wasn't she partying with me?

But ultimately this quote from the movie Indecent Proposal by Robert Redford's character John Gage sums up why I'll always be single even if I had a choice;

“She'll never look at me the way she looks at him.”

[Waterglass]

No and from what I've experienced Church congregations in the UK are not friendly toward asocial men such as myself. They might be less smug in the US?

DB had a great suggestion. Volunteer at a pet adoption center as people who care for animals often extend that care to humans.

[Stealth Blimp]

I'm bowing out of this thread now

[Oldcarpy2]

Depends how you define "nice guys".

Women don't like "wimps'?

[Maxmars]

Depends how you define "nice guys".

Women don't like "wimps'?

If the idea that "nice guys" are automatically wimps holds water...

where is it that it's "holding water?"

Is it that women (generalization) are substantially more attracted to men who demonstrate their 'competence and gravitas" in a social setting?

And would that mean that men must "openly" display their non-subordination to other men in the presence of the woman they themselves desire to attract?

Is that the chemistry that would ensue from believing that desirable "nice" = functionally "weak?"

[Oldcarpy2]

If the idea that "nice guys" are automatically wimps holds water...

where is it that it's "holding water?"

Is it that women (generalization) are substantially more attracted to men who demonstrate their 'competence and gravitas" in a social setting?

And would that mean that men must "openly" display their non-subordination to other men in the presence of the woman they themselves desire to attract?

Is that the chemistry that would ensue from believing that desirable "nice" = functionally "weak?"

No, that wasn't what I really meant.

When my first wife left me (for a complete and utter bastard) my mate down the pub said "Women, they're all poison.  You're better off".

I didn't agree.

When I say he was a bastard, I am being factual.

He was a Tax Inspector.  He raided a local villain (nice guy, his party trick was to sit on a bar stool and pick up a guy on the bar stool next to him by lifting his stool with one hand).  Not to be messed with.

"You can come in, but you'll be leaving out the top floor fucking window..."

[ANNEE]

Depends how you define "nice guys".

Women don't like "wimps'?

This made me laugh 

Some men love to claim Feminists are dominating man-haters.

But you're correct -- they don't like wimps. 

A strong woman is attracted to a strong man.

[FlyersFan]

Women don't like nice guys

You say that you would force women to have abortions.
That makes you NOT a 'nice guy'.  
Your thread here