Women don't like nice guys

[ANNEE]

imo

the bad boy stereotype is often confused with the true alpha personality 
women who are attracted to "bad boys" are confusing them for alphas

I agree.

Most or many modern-day humans are so out of touch with their natural instincts -- they are not consciously aware they are even having a reaction and/or why.

[IdeomotorPrisoner]

If women confuse thugs for the true alpha male personality they can't be that dissimilar.

I have no investment in the human species and I'd welcome its extinction. I'm an antinatalist as well.

Well, you're just a massive pile of red flags, aren't ya?

Alas... you dont post about yourself online unless you want the internet to play shrink.

INCEL + antinatalist + humanity misanrthrope.

That's quite a trifecta of damaged good warning signs, and girls are known to be extremely intuitive at feeling that out almost immediately... like before you even get finished talking about yourself and your lifetime of hard luck

Hell is other people though, right?

You're trapped in a constrained single room of form insisting everyone stay confined in there with you. So dont ever be surprised when you make people want to escape that room to leave you in there alone.  

If you want ANYONE to be interested in you, you'll sell yourself with something that isnt a "broken toy story" of defective manufacturing.  And if you're gonna commit to being a man of constant sorrow, better put it into a song people want to hear.  

Otherwise, you're only finding peace in something like an antinatalist space ship cult. You'll get new shoes though.

[Maxmars]

I wonder if it cannot be said that any encounter with another human being is largely affected by whether one is seeking the encounter and the other is also.

But when we fantasize about "meeting" the proper candidate... we begin to "shop" for that specific ideal candidate... the one we made up.  (Or, you might say... "I want what I see every day.")

None but the luckiest find the very dream they wished for.

Most of us live and change, learn and shift... our dreams are a static target that never existed.

But the "right guy" or the "right girl" isn't manufactured,
they simply can't be 'crafted or cultivated'...

He or she will be "discovered"... 
Many times, where and when you least expect it.

Many seem to recall being "surprised" when they realized they had found their mate...

Not all... by any means... but most of the many couples I met during my 40+ years of marriage never "hunted" each other down as the resolution to a mission... they weren't 'scoured' from an amorphous pool of random happenstance acquaintances... but were people who socialized with each other sans romance baggage first.

But by old world standards even that is chaos.  Marriages of consequence used to require careful family coordination and consent... the arrangements became so disconnected and so mundane that the 'couple' were essentially taken for granted... 

Now, most people who married were admirers of each other first (maybe the opposite) ... not strangers with an agenda... (unless they are hunting the same object.)

It makes it all the harder when there are no rules...


But I admit, some may well have found their perfect mate in completely different circumstances...
some seemingly without trying at all...  but believe me... you always have to try.

[CriticalStinker]

I'm 40 years old and have never had a girlfriend, been in a relationship or even had a friend who was female save for an elderly female relative. Women have either always ignored me or construed me as a competitor rather than a lover but they seem to be enamoured with men who I can only describe as "thugs" and "bad boys". Now I don't hate women for this as there are obviously evolutionary adaptations why women gravitate toward the most confident, successful and sometimes aggressive males (protection, resources etc.) at the expense of socially awkward men such as myself. However I do object to young women mocking me slyly while they give pleasure to "bad boys". It's as if women can tell I'm genetically unfit to reproduce and I find this upsetting.

Some women don't like nice guys, others get disinterested with them, and many want them for life.

Women are just like men. Some of us are looking for different things than others. One thing I can tell you, life usually isn't a Hallmark movie. You all aren't just going to meet by dumb luck and hit it off. If it's something you want, you're going to have to go out and find it. I'm barely younger than you, and hate to say it this blunt, but you're not getting any younger.

So if it's something you truly are looking for, a partner, you need to go find just that. Someone who you can respect as an equal, and who reciprocates that. Think of what your interests are, and go out looking for those interests, that's where you're going to find someone at least semi like minded. If you don't find it there, then you need to leave your comfort zone, and that is something that people will find attractive, both sexes. 

Most of us aren't born with a trust fund, looks of a movie star, or very much really that separates us. But you can control your personality (to an extent), character (huge extent), and how you treat other people (fully). You didn't get the shit end of the stick, if anything you're probably so normal it's going to be hard to show how you're different.

These are all things that you could do in under a year with success that would blow your mind. Start getting in shape, eating better, trying to better yourself. Doing those consistently are going to build confidence so you can get out there. It will make you glow, you'll be proud of yourself.

Or, you can go through life solo. There's nothing wrong with being so comfortable in your own skin that you don't have to have a companion. Just know shit might get weird when you get close to the finish line.

[ANNEE]

What was his name?

Here's a WHY FILES video.

https://youtu.be/59IiApDiWjA

[andy06shake]

Of course it doesn't. No woman has ever wanted to spend time with me let alone carry my child in her womb for six months. It doesn't look like any woman will ever want to preserve my dna by having my child. I kinda despise men who've experienced this privilege especially if they have a daughter (they get to have two women who care about them).

It's understandable to feel unwanted when life hasn't given you the connection you hoped for buddy.

But the way you're framing this is hurting you more than anyone else.

Parenting isn't a "privilege stolen from you" and the rest of us are not your enemy.

Seems to me that you're interpreting absence as impossibility.

And that’s simply not true.

You're not doomed, but you need to shift some of that resentment into growth if you want to change or form a relationship.

[BeTheGoddess]

I always preferred Freud to Jung although I admit I'm no psychologist.

Freud grasped it's all about sex which is underpinned by the Darwinian reality.

That is a fkin own goal for your narcissistic desire to rape women, admit it, you want to be able to go at any woman you see.

You're a vile incel sack of [snipped bby Moderator]
It really sadens me how a lot of guys are trying to help you and not seeing the reason why the women here dont?

[Moderator note:  emotion and anger do not override the T&Cs]

[UltraBudgie]

[archmac]

Well, that explains it.

I try to be nice...

I once took a girl home from a prom at 9:00 PM. She was getting too pushy...

[Byrd]

So what you're all saying is only the strongest Genghis Khan type males should be allowed to transmit their genes to the next generation?

I think we see this with the bad boy phenomena. Now there are no social pressures on young women to date respectable guys like in the 1950s - young women are selecting males who in a bygone era their parents wouldn't have approved of. 

As someone who observes dating trends from afar it's interesting to note that a lot of young girls seem to choose more exotic looking males over pasty men like myself. It must be something to do with Darwinian sexual selection and also pop culture which heavily promotes gang culture. 

Goodbye western civilisation.

It probably has to do with your social arenas -- are they places where women naturally interact with others?  Does the type of woman you prefer hang out there?

If you're into sports, there's a lot of activities where you can meet women... such as pre-and-post game/event activities.  If you're into tech, there's events -- if you're into science fiction and fantasy, there's a bazillion conventions around the world.   If you want a religious woman... places of worship, obviously.

Don't think in terms of "generic female."  Ask what YOU want in a woman and where that kind of woman would hang out and what her friends would be like.   Then go seek those places.