The Banter Cafe

[Oldcarpy2]

Repost from the image thread:

[Image: https://denyignorance.com/uploader/image...5063_n.jpg]

Peas? Yes pease! And a side of beans and toast.

OK. The beans are organic and carbon neutral, the peas are too, hand reared and the toast is from locally grown organic wheat. The sausages are from locally reared organically fed pigs, lightly killed.

And if you believe all that.......

[Freeborn]

Blimey, you Northerners....

Minced beef, potatoe mash and parsley sauce, or liquor.

For religious folk like you, we have beer battered Haddock, or Rock Salmon (aka Dogfish) with scraps (for Northern poor people) or proper chips deep fried in beef dripping, mushy peas and a large pickled onion or pickled egg?

There was me thinking this was a traditional cafe and not some tossy off, pretentious up your own arse middle-class bistro type of establishment. 

Poncey parsley sauce - aka liquor - sorry, that's a big No Thank You. Got to be proper Northern Gravy or nothing.
I appreciate its a proper East End cockney thing but lets face it, there aren't many of those around nowadays.

Us poor Northern folk are simple people - in more ways than one - just traditional battered Cod or Haddock recently caught by local trawlermen in The North Sea. Regardless of being poor and Northern, scraps are mandatory. As much as I like beef dripping etc just plain old chip shop chips.
i'm impressed you agree with the mushy peas and in the absence of pickled onions - not silverskins though - then a pickled egg would be acceptable.

No sign of our old Banter Cafe colleague yet?
Hopefully he'll be along soon to add some of his unique West Country offerings.

[UltraBudgie]

OK. The beans are organic and carbon neutral, the peas are too, hand reared and the toast is from locally grown organic wheat. The sausages are from locally reared organically fed pigs, lightly killed.

And if you believe all that.......

You joke but I'll drive pretty far here in the States to get a nice loaf of UK pan bread... it's one of the few that doesn't do a number on my gut. American wheat is to be avoided.

And I wonder if the carbon-neutral beans include "post-consumer" CH4 production in their calculations? Bet they don't. A good plate can fuel another industrial revolution.

[Freeborn]

Any Jocks about?

I can rustle up some deep fried battered Mars Bars or Haggis?

I'm quite partial to the latter.

Someone alleged the other day that the only salads I see are deep fried!

[Oldcarpy2]

"No sign of our old Banter Cafe colleague yet?
Hopefully he'll be along soon to add some of his unique West Country offerings."

I was hoping he'd show up and take over the Cafe?

What is Northern Gravy?

[Freeborn]

I was hoping he'd show up and take over the Cafe?

What is Northern Gravy?

Just had a look, he hasn't been on for about 12 days or so.
Must be enjoying the Cornish sunshine.

What is 'Northern Gravy'.
God knows mate, gravy is gravy isn't it.....unless you're American.
I was just playing up to the stereotypical Northern Monkey archetype.

[Nerb]

Well that's me knackered from digging the allotment. Got it done before it pissed down.

Sorry about the muddy boots. I'd take 'em off but you'd be glad I didn't.

Tea, Pie and Mash please. Steak and Kiddley if you've got it, and chuck some beans on there with a couple of slices on the side. I'm bleedin' famished!

I'll take a Pork Pie to go too, and can I borrow your paper?

[Oldcarpy2]

[quote="Freeborn" pid='37062' dateline='1745004357']

"Just had a look, he hasn't been on for about 12 days or so.
Must be enjoying the Cornish sunshine."

Or away with the Piskies?

Allegedly, on the campaign trail, Peter Mandelson went into a Northern chippy, pointed at the mushy peas, and asked for the Guacamole....

Watching my fave film, Aliens, again....

[Oldcarpy2]

Well that's me knackered from digging the allotment. Got it done before it pissed down.

Sorry about the muddy boots. I'd take 'em off but you'd be glad I didn't.

Tea, Pie and Mash please. Steak and Kiddley if you've got it, and chuck some beans on there with a couple of slices on the side. I'm bleedin' famished!

I'll take a Pork Pie to go too, and can I borrow your paper?

Steak and kidney? With parsley liquor?

OK. Coming up.

What paper? You out of bog paper? You can borrow some, but I don't want it back....

[argentus]

Please do one of your elders a solid and instruct me how to post a video, not just a link.  Thankyaverymuuuuch.  

In the meantime:  

Wait!  Perhaps I have susses the problem out.  Yes.