Lesbian Space Vampires

[MonkMode]

Lesbian space vampires controlling Earthmen's prostates is an existential threat to mankind. These bitches gave me cancer in 2019. I had surgery to remove the offending organ, took a week off work to recover (actually I waited to get the catheter removed because when you work with people like Porkchop96 you don't want that around for the fucking around with) and kept driving on. No way was I going to let Satan's concubines keep me down.

How have these she-devils from outer space affected others I wonder? Gimme your stories, real or otherwise.

Preach!!

No joke, giant creeping spider monkeys with 8 limbs IMO.

Giants In The Earth.

They own The House of The Rising Sun.

I got a couple pics of one of their faces, and another pic of their space lasers.

They are called: YOU 

They live off of orgasms, and if a man tries to quit, they will try to milk his prostate.

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[Starlight]

I recall a story about a guy named Edmund who claimed his scrotum was replaced with a small alien power source. He said he could levitate small objects, but only if he hummed the tune of Rick Astley's "Never Gonna Give You Up".
Unfortunately, his wife found it more annoying than impressive and as fate would have it she took his scrotum in the divorce settlement...

[MonkMode]

Well, mine came thru my navel.

Perhaps that accounts for Newborn Meconium Bowel Movements.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Meconium

Interesting story, my 4th kid, I think of her as Samson.

Her mom consumed no “strong rising yeast” during pregnancy.  I think it will be understood what “strong rising yeast” means, and that a married couple will almost never abstain from it, even during pregnancy.

Immediately after she was born, perhaps at the very same second she took her first breath, she blasted out a massive newborn shit.

The nurse remarked she had never seen anything like that before.

Neither had I, after my other 3 kids births.

I can’t recall seeing any Meconium during diaper changes either, so seems like she got rid of that sticky shit way faster than usual.

Another observation is all my other 3 kids were born bald, but 4th kid was born with a full head of hair, which she never lost.

[BeTheGoddess]

I recall a story about a guy named Edmund who claimed his scrotum was replaced with a small alien power source. He said he could levitate small objects, but only if he hummed the tune of Rick Astley's "Never Gonna Give You Up".
Unfortunately, his wife found it more annoying than impressive and as fate would have it she took his scrotum in the divorce settlement...

What a nutcase.

I'll let myself out

[rickymouse]

If Men come from Mars, and women come from Venus.....where do those lesbian vampires and the others in the the LGBTQ+++ group come from??????? 

Everything these days is getting so confusing.

[Moon68]

If Men come from Mars, and women come from Venus.....where do those lesbian vampires and the others in the the LGBTQ+++ group come from??????? 

Everything these days is getting so confusing.

Uranus???

[MonkMode]

Uranus???

They definitely got their hooks into everybody’s assholes…

Trying to get rid of them is like healing from a million mosquito bites to the inside of one’s rectum.

[Oldcarpy2]

If Men come from Mars, and women come from Venus.....where do those lesbian vampires and the others in the the LGBTQ+++ group come from??????? 

Everything these days is getting so confusing.

From the 8th Dimension according to Buckaroo Banzai, Monkey Boy?

[sahgwa]

If Men come from Mars, and women come from Venus.....where do those lesbian vampires and the others in the the LGBTQ+++ group come from??????? 

Everything these days is getting so confusing.

Nibiru

[IdeomotorPrisoner]

Lesbian space vampires controlling Earthmen's prostates is an existential threat to mankind...

How have these she-devils from outer space affected others I wonder? Gimme your stories, real or otherwise.

FYI, We have to peg you first before we can affect your prostate health.

But we are more highly evolved and psychic, so we can infiltrate your dreams like a succubus to do so.