08-10-2025, 07:38 AM
This post was last modified: 08-10-2025, 09:05 AM by AlroyFarms.
I’m talking about being a man, a male father, pater, sire, whatever. I’m not talking about being a birthing person participant or whatever they call it now.
Let me also preface this by saying that I’ve been made fun of by partners many times for having ‘parental issues’ e.g. daddy issues/ mommy issues. So if you want to call me a loser incel, basically get in line.
To whatever extent that may be true, I have always tried to overcome my depression and grudges in my own way. And to make fun of someone for their traumas, losses, regrets, challenges is just plain not cool, and it’s not something I ever do. I work very hard to listen to my partners and understand them, and not resort to mockery.
Mockery is just a last-ditch effort at emotional self-defense. Certainly I’m not perfect either, but I will step into the batter’s box when I’m called up.
So what am I getting at?
Well, the importance of the nuclear family unit and how it helps shape future relationships.
At first glance just look at how much crime and poverty, lack of education and upward movement is correlated to the single-parent household.
I’m not even saying you have to go the traditional Christian family values route (though it has been developed as a tried-and-true method I wouldn’t mind subscribing to.) Do we want to get into cultures that sold daughters as child brides to have fewer mouths to feed? Neither do I.
I get there can be 2 moms and 2 dads and I’ve recently heard the term ‘thrupple’ (God, no thanks.)
Things can be good in different ways. There isn’t only one solution. But what solution is already pretty reliable and effective? The nuclear family unit: man, woman, children.
I mean there is a reason most of humanity has been doing it this way for thousands and thousands of years. It’s nature, and it works. I’m sure I don’t need to cite the Utopian Mouse Experiments to show a model of basic mammalian social structure and downfall (population density is the culprit,) or as I said just start looking into statistics of the single-parent household.
Now why am I so screwed up myself? Well I had the most absent deadbeat dad you can imagine, who did some pretty despicable shit to his family. Alcoholic. And so was my mother, alcoholic.
They were both entirely absent for much of what I can remember. I have no memories of being told it’s my bedtime, or is my homework done? Just a lot of memories of being behind locked doors and passed around from household to household. Never being heard or seen.
In short my parents didn’t want to, or were incapable of dealing with me as a child. They just blame each other whenever I have tried talking about it. F that. No one makes a parent stop being a parent.
I grew up with a weird sense of overconfidence and extreme self-doubt. Confidence in my abilities and intelligence, but self-doubt that I have no value and don't matter to anybody.
Relationships are based on a lot of feedback cues and adjustments (I think.)
So here I am, no marriage, no children, and no relationships to speak of other than tangling with toxic weirdos from time to time. And I’d like to emphasize most women I’ve ever known have some ‘daddy issues’ as well.
I feel it’s getting too late to try, and I’m just caring less and less about the future. I’m getting old.
At my age, anyone good is already taken, anyone not taken is broken too, or else requires more meth than I can realistically deal!
Anyways I recently bought myself a mountain bike. I think that triggered some weird kind of memory thorn.
I never had a dad teach me how to pedal. Never had a dad teach me how to change my oil or redo my fences. Toss the old ball around. Never had a parent teach me how to deal with life when it’s tough or unfair. Ain’t no sage wisdom being passed down to me!
And now I feel like I would’ve been great at that stuff! All that I had to learn on my own, trial and error, setting goals, finding success, and dealing with defeat.
This is all important stuff. And it needs to come from both sides of the river, the male and the female, the mom and the dad.
I love the recent trends of women saying men are useless, society doesn't need them; and even on a personal level men are not needed. Uh huh. At least I'm not that freaking far gone.
I saw something recently in the grocery that kinda made me smile, gave me a little hope. A woman was asking a younger daughter maybe like 8 years "So this is 2 for $X.xx and this one is this price. But this other brand is on sale too. So which is the cheapest deal?"
Just imagine a parent investing in their kids' future and development. What is more beautiful than that?
I often imagine the life I could’ve had if only someone ever taught me I do have some value. Because now I see I have walked through life assuming everybody hates me and found no evidence to the contrary. I didn't even know how to cultivate anything else. Learning to love yourself in a vacuum is the final boss of psychology.
I wish like hell I could’ve passed something on to someone else for their happiness, brightness, and success. I wish I could've helped spare someone from the bullshit fucked up life I had to live. But here I am a perpetual loser in society, an outcast, an untouchable pariah.
But I dunno, from my perspective society doesn’t look so precious sometimes either. Once the AI sex dolls are perfected all bets are off!
For now, at least the cat is comfortable and well fed.
Let me also preface this by saying that I’ve been made fun of by partners many times for having ‘parental issues’ e.g. daddy issues/ mommy issues. So if you want to call me a loser incel, basically get in line.
To whatever extent that may be true, I have always tried to overcome my depression and grudges in my own way. And to make fun of someone for their traumas, losses, regrets, challenges is just plain not cool, and it’s not something I ever do. I work very hard to listen to my partners and understand them, and not resort to mockery.
Mockery is just a last-ditch effort at emotional self-defense. Certainly I’m not perfect either, but I will step into the batter’s box when I’m called up.
So what am I getting at?
Well, the importance of the nuclear family unit and how it helps shape future relationships.
At first glance just look at how much crime and poverty, lack of education and upward movement is correlated to the single-parent household.
I’m not even saying you have to go the traditional Christian family values route (though it has been developed as a tried-and-true method I wouldn’t mind subscribing to.) Do we want to get into cultures that sold daughters as child brides to have fewer mouths to feed? Neither do I.
I get there can be 2 moms and 2 dads and I’ve recently heard the term ‘thrupple’ (God, no thanks.)
Things can be good in different ways. There isn’t only one solution. But what solution is already pretty reliable and effective? The nuclear family unit: man, woman, children.
I mean there is a reason most of humanity has been doing it this way for thousands and thousands of years. It’s nature, and it works. I’m sure I don’t need to cite the Utopian Mouse Experiments to show a model of basic mammalian social structure and downfall (population density is the culprit,) or as I said just start looking into statistics of the single-parent household.
Now why am I so screwed up myself? Well I had the most absent deadbeat dad you can imagine, who did some pretty despicable shit to his family. Alcoholic. And so was my mother, alcoholic.
They were both entirely absent for much of what I can remember. I have no memories of being told it’s my bedtime, or is my homework done? Just a lot of memories of being behind locked doors and passed around from household to household. Never being heard or seen.
In short my parents didn’t want to, or were incapable of dealing with me as a child. They just blame each other whenever I have tried talking about it. F that. No one makes a parent stop being a parent.
I grew up with a weird sense of overconfidence and extreme self-doubt. Confidence in my abilities and intelligence, but self-doubt that I have no value and don't matter to anybody.
Relationships are based on a lot of feedback cues and adjustments (I think.)
So here I am, no marriage, no children, and no relationships to speak of other than tangling with toxic weirdos from time to time. And I’d like to emphasize most women I’ve ever known have some ‘daddy issues’ as well.
I feel it’s getting too late to try, and I’m just caring less and less about the future. I’m getting old.
At my age, anyone good is already taken, anyone not taken is broken too, or else requires more meth than I can realistically deal!
Anyways I recently bought myself a mountain bike. I think that triggered some weird kind of memory thorn.
I never had a dad teach me how to pedal. Never had a dad teach me how to change my oil or redo my fences. Toss the old ball around. Never had a parent teach me how to deal with life when it’s tough or unfair. Ain’t no sage wisdom being passed down to me!
And now I feel like I would’ve been great at that stuff! All that I had to learn on my own, trial and error, setting goals, finding success, and dealing with defeat.
This is all important stuff. And it needs to come from both sides of the river, the male and the female, the mom and the dad.
I love the recent trends of women saying men are useless, society doesn't need them; and even on a personal level men are not needed. Uh huh. At least I'm not that freaking far gone.
I saw something recently in the grocery that kinda made me smile, gave me a little hope. A woman was asking a younger daughter maybe like 8 years "So this is 2 for $X.xx and this one is this price. But this other brand is on sale too. So which is the cheapest deal?"
Just imagine a parent investing in their kids' future and development. What is more beautiful than that?
I often imagine the life I could’ve had if only someone ever taught me I do have some value. Because now I see I have walked through life assuming everybody hates me and found no evidence to the contrary. I didn't even know how to cultivate anything else. Learning to love yourself in a vacuum is the final boss of psychology.
I wish like hell I could’ve passed something on to someone else for their happiness, brightness, and success. I wish I could've helped spare someone from the bullshit fucked up life I had to live. But here I am a perpetual loser in society, an outcast, an untouchable pariah.
But I dunno, from my perspective society doesn’t look so precious sometimes either. Once the AI sex dolls are perfected all bets are off!
For now, at least the cat is comfortable and well fed.
