Road rage

[UltraBudgie]

I heard someone today say "if you still experience road rage, you haven't finished the work".

Do you think that is true?

During COVID I drove like I didn't care, because I didn't. But after that, I've noticed that I'm now almost always driving the speed limit, leaving gaps in front and not tailgating when in traffic, stopping at lights at a distance where the wheels of the car in front of me are still visible, etc. And I don't get annoyed if someone is impatient or cuts me off hardly at all. I usually just think 'gee they're in a hurry; i hope they get where they're going!'

It is weird. I see other drivers so stressed out on the road. And I've noticed that the less I let things stress me, the less things that stress me happen.

Of course sometimes on rare occasion I still get angry and want every one to die sooner rather than later, haha. But I guess that's normal?

Do you get road rage and if so how do you deal with it?

Sometimes I think traffic lights in some parts of town are deliberately timed to provoke people. Is this reality a cruel cruel test or some kind of obstacle course?

[UltraBudgie]

I also heard today that you should try brushing your teeth with coconut oil rather than toothpaste, and if you find a pair of underwear in the trash, leave them -- there is very likely a reason they are there.

[xpert11]

UltraBudgie, what kind of test or obstacle do you think road rage involves? Does that test extend to people who experience road rage?

[andy06shake]

I heard someone today say "if you still experience road rage, you haven't finished the work".

Do you think that is true?

During COVID I drove like I didn't care, because I didn't. But after that, I've noticed that I'm now almost always driving the speed limit, leaving gaps in front and not tailgating when in traffic, stopping at lights at a distance where the wheels of the car in front of me are still visible, etc. And I don't get annoyed if someone is impatient or cuts me off hardly at all. I usually just think 'gee they're in a hurry; i hope they get where they're going!'

It is weird. I see other drivers so stressed out on the road. And I've noticed that the less I let things stress me, the less things that stress me happen.

Of course sometimes on rare occasion I still get angry and want every one to die sooner rather than later, haha. But I guess that's normal?

Do you get road rage and if so how do you deal with it?

Sometimes I think traffic lights in some parts of town are deliberately timed to provoke people. Is this reality a cruel cruel test or some kind of obstacle course?

The problem we have here in the UK with road rage is that city and suburban roads were never really designed to handle the number of vehicles they now accommodate.
 
As a result, people are forced to park on both sides of what were originally two-lane streets.

This easily cuts road space in half, leaving very little, if any room to manoeuvre.
 
Any kind of fast or aggressive driving becomes especially dangerous, because if someone, or something, suddenly appears from between the parked cars (like a dog, child, or elderly person), there’s almost no chance to stop or swerve in time.

Worse when the likes of buses attempt to pass one another, that's when you see the real road rage emerge, as the traffic jam ensues.

As to how they choose to deal with it, fisticuffs sometimes, but generally just screaming and shouting obscenities at one another.

[Kwaka]

I have been in too many accidents and paid too much in fines to stress out on the roads these days. Better late than dead. It does get stressful out there at times, inches in it as noobs do noob things.

With the grid lock of traffic as upgrades go on, put on some good tunes or find some channel you like to listen too. You do have a responsibility to yourself to make it home alive at the end of the day. Some days, perhaps you are better off just staying in bed?

Otherwise, rant, vent and do what you have to stay alert and make it home safe. Not everyone does.

[xpert11]

I have been in too many accidents and paid too much in fines to stress out on the roads these days. Better late than dead. It does get stressful out there at times, inches in it as noobs do noob things.

The only serious road rage incident I experienced was caused by stress and trauma. At the start of the Christchurch Earthquakes (2010-11), someone from my area was towing a trailer load of household goods. Moreover, that person's home would have been deemed red-stickered/unsafe, and not allowed to remain. 

I was at an intersection, and the person in the vehicle behind me was inpatient. They got out of their car and became verbally abusive. I ignored that person's behaviour and drove on, when circumstances permitted. 

I didn't condone that person's road rage, but it was linked to recent events, so I didn't report the incident to the police. The cops confirmed my judgment during a brief chat with them some time later. Those cops kindly gave a new Civil Defence volunteer a short lift home, while touching base with him.

[RichardHurt]

I often find myself in wondering what can I do to combat this road rage I see so often. Then I remember a trick my friend told me about.
Just breath and count to ten....then follow them home.

[quintessentone]

Here are my experiences with others' road rages, not mine, because driving relaxes me, always did. I like to drive in complete silence.

My partner's driving habits, let's say, are impatient, to be generous. We were gifted a book by a family member 'The Zen of Driving' which only I read (not surprising). Anyway, I did not have to read it because driving relaxes me. So I just mention passages from the book to my partner to school or inspire them to chill. I think road rage has many triggers, but ultimately your behaviour and emotional control is your responsibility.

I now take on the belief that if one is pissed off because there always seems to be a car in the way, think of it this way: maybe you were delayed for those few seconds by the universe trying to save your life because down the road the timing would be such that you would be in a car crash. I let the universe do it's thing.

Also one of my children had this notion that people on the highway were performing unsafe lane change maneuvers/tail gaiting on purpose, just to get under their skin. I told them those people do it to everyone, you are not special in that sense. ha ha  I advised them to drive in the middle lane (from my defense driving classes) where there are mulitple 'outs' from bad situations, put on their favourite radio station, enjoy their favourite coffee, and just chill. They told me this what they do now; this is after 10 years on the road in a bad state of mind.

The Zen of Driving: Mindfulness on the Road

[UltraBudgie]

UltraBudgie, what kind of test or obstacle do you think road rage involves? Does that test extend to people who experience road rage?

Well I think it's obvious that it's an opportunity to practice not letting one's emotions spiral unproductively. I mean, maybe there's a time and a place for getting angry at stuff and using that energy to effect change in a useful way, but in a metal box on the road it almost never is! But the feelings are there anyway. But that's a very left-brain way of looking at it, isn't it -- not being "ruled by emotion"? So the other way to look at it is that when driving, you're in a very narrow little tunnel of action and possibility, following the "driving script", but in the larger picture of life the universe and everything (ho-hoho!) does getting angry really matter, or help? Going from a meticulous little busy-bee mind to a calm mountain unmoving mind, as appropriate. We've all got both those sides; use tools as appropriate.

I like to drive in complete silence.

This is weird it reminds me of sitting waiting in public for something and not reflexively taking out the phone and staring at it. Such a strange behaviour! Just kidding! You are only other person I've heard who does this too; prefers it. I like that too and also just being in moment with road. When I start to get music earworm or thinking words or other stuff I think "hey why being tangled up in that old stuff when I'm right here right now at mile marker 44 and might not ever be back right here again", and return to enjoying the moment with a brain all freshsmooth like lobotomy. Haha kidding again lobotomies are gross.

[quintessentone]

Well I think it's obvious that it's an opportunity to practice not letting one's emotions spiral unproductively. I mean, maybe there's a time and a place for getting angry at stuff and using that energy to effect change in a useful way, but in a metal box on the road it almost never is! But the feelings are there anyway. But that's a very left-brain way of looking at it, isn't it -- not being "ruled by emotion"? So the other way to look at it is that when driving, you're in a very narrow little tunnel of action and possibility, following the "driving script", but in the larger picture of life the universe and everything (ho-hoho!) does getting angry really matter, or help? Going from a meticulous little busy-bee mind to a calm mountain unmoving mind, as appropriate. We've all got both those sides; use tools as appropriate.


This is weird it reminds me of sitting waiting in public for something and not reflexively taking out the phone and staring at it. Such a strange behaviour! Just kidding! You are only other person I've heard who does this too; prefers it. I like that too and also just being in moment with road. When I start to get music earworm or thinking words or other stuff I think "hey why being tangled up in that old stuff when I'm right here right now at mile marker 44 and might not ever be back right here again", and return to enjoying the moment with a brain all freshsmooth like lobotomy. Haha kidding again lobotomies are gross.

I do the same thing in public, no looking at my phone, I actually scan my surroundings...maybe it's an oldtimer thing. ha ha