VPNs haven't been useful since 2002

[FlyingClayDisk]

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Well, at least I can narrow down who can beat all of my encryption :|.

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Not "All".  Certainly most, but not "all". 

Some encryption cannot be broken; it's impossible.  It's very difficult to use, and labor intensive, but it cannot be broken.  Never has, and never will be, no matter how massive the 'compute' resources they throw at it.  The only vulnerability with it is when people get lazy and try to reuse things which have already been used once.

The 'intelligence' giants don't like to admit this, but it's true.