06-07-2024, 02:29 PM
I am going to suggest to you that "depression" is the wrong word for the condition which you describe; agree that it is the word that is commonly used, however I think it is a poor noun to represent the condition. Can I suggest a better one? Perhaps. How about 'untethered', or 'disconnective dissociation' (not to be confused with dissociative disorders). Maybe "singularness". I don't have depression. I have merely been depressed, which is very much not the same thing. My best friend in life experiences depression, and he has been through a plethora of meds; the most effective (from his perspective) don't alter his perceptions, but just ease the ache of them.
Toward that end, I have to confess that I've always liked Xanex. I tried it several years ago for a month in and effort to quit smoking. It didn't help enough with the smoking urge to allow me to quit, however I recognized that I truly liked how the world felt to me when I took it. It is difficult to describe, but if pressed to put it succinctly, I would say that for me, it rounded the sharp edges of life; things that would normally cut or injure, seemed far less important. I could still operate vehicles and think and reason and even my creative impulses didn't seem truncated.
Toward the thrust of your thread, no, I've never quit or had to stop an antidepressant. Having talked at length with my friend, I can't imagine how difficult that world is. He, like you Maxmars, is incredibly adept at wrangling the horrors of the world thrust upon him, and even manages to laugh and smile. Like you, he is quite intelligent. He has quit various antidepressants with mixed results. The world is painful for him, but 'depression' isn't about pain either. My buddy would probably characterize it as a sense on unbelongingness, which is why I suggested "untethered". He's a great guy. Very compassionate and generous.
I don't mean to make light of this condition with the following statements. Very soon in my life, I intend to find a doctor who will allow me to have Xanex in my life. I know it is habit-forming. I don't care. I like how it feels. I like how I feel when I have it. If liking it is wrong, I don't want to be right. The love of my life, with whom I've been happily betrothed for 40 years only noticed this when I took it: Less things seemed to deeply disturb me. Yeah, I'll take that any day.
I really feel for those who are part of this syndrome. I hate to say "afflicted", because I can't help wondering if those energies might be channeled, such as into art or music or mathematical study. I don't know what I'm talking about, because I've never been there, but I doubt it is a condition for which there is an easy or definative cure.
Toward that end, I have to confess that I've always liked Xanex. I tried it several years ago for a month in and effort to quit smoking. It didn't help enough with the smoking urge to allow me to quit, however I recognized that I truly liked how the world felt to me when I took it. It is difficult to describe, but if pressed to put it succinctly, I would say that for me, it rounded the sharp edges of life; things that would normally cut or injure, seemed far less important. I could still operate vehicles and think and reason and even my creative impulses didn't seem truncated.
Toward the thrust of your thread, no, I've never quit or had to stop an antidepressant. Having talked at length with my friend, I can't imagine how difficult that world is. He, like you Maxmars, is incredibly adept at wrangling the horrors of the world thrust upon him, and even manages to laugh and smile. Like you, he is quite intelligent. He has quit various antidepressants with mixed results. The world is painful for him, but 'depression' isn't about pain either. My buddy would probably characterize it as a sense on unbelongingness, which is why I suggested "untethered". He's a great guy. Very compassionate and generous.
I don't mean to make light of this condition with the following statements. Very soon in my life, I intend to find a doctor who will allow me to have Xanex in my life. I know it is habit-forming. I don't care. I like how it feels. I like how I feel when I have it. If liking it is wrong, I don't want to be right. The love of my life, with whom I've been happily betrothed for 40 years only noticed this when I took it: Less things seemed to deeply disturb me. Yeah, I'll take that any day.
I really feel for those who are part of this syndrome. I hate to say "afflicted", because I can't help wondering if those energies might be channeled, such as into art or music or mathematical study. I don't know what I'm talking about, because I've never been there, but I doubt it is a condition for which there is an easy or definative cure.
