SOLVED - The Key To Enlightenment

[guyfriday]

but what does it all mean?

From what I gathered it all means:
"Welcome to your new home, and RIP ATS." 

also the guy the bought ATS is a dirt bag (to put it nicely)

All of the above is just what I gathered. 

Now that this was solved, I would love to hear about the methods people used to solve this puzzle set. I was at a complete loss in this challenge.