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Soviet humor can actually be kind of sinister
#1
Jokes from the Soviet Union and Warsaw Pact are appearing in my Youtube feed.  

A typical one goes like this:  The Soviet premier visits a city and sees people standing in line for blocks and blocks for bread.  He tells the people in line, "I do not want you to have to stand in line for hours for bread."  He shouts a few orders to his people and a short time later, several trucks arrive with bread and no one has to stand in line any more.

The premier sees another line, also several city blocks long, and asks "what is this line for?"  He is told it is for meat.  He says "I do not want you to have to stand in line for hours for meat." He shouts a few orders to his people, and soon a convoy of trucks arrives carrying chairs and no one has to stand in line any more. 
 

People used to interpret these solely as a knock against the Soviet system but some of those jokes may be interpreted in a different light.  Before the Soviet revolution, the average Russian peasant was said by some to be even poorer.  Then, they took what they could of the country.  Some Russian nobility were probably already primed to flee and had exported as much of their wealth as they could, so Lenin decided to demonize, then rob the wealthier peasants.  Then the communists made all the scientists and professionals who hadn't escaped work for the good of the people.  They had shoes, tractors to till the fields, Kukuruzniks to dust the crops, medical care provided by the state, some could even hope to obtain an automobile.

They stole a country for themselves and improved their lot by communizing the best efforts and wealth of their abler classes, but they still burned their eyes out on what the West had.  

Bearing in mind that their chosen method of improving their lot was to plunder the abler classes, this puts their militarism into clearer perspective.  They ate up their country and it wasn't enough.

Some claim the Soviet Union's militarism was entirely the fault of the powers who tried to intervene in the post-October Revolution fighting.  However, not only did the Soviet Union promise to export revolution, the intervening powers may have possibly harbored suspicions about talented people disappearing from places outside the newly formed Soviet Union.  

The Soviets did not need their military might solely to ward off aggression.  Nazi Germany was not their polar opposite, they simply had a different idea on how to effect redistributionism because of their different degree of industrial development.  Until the Nazi regime foolishly went for all the marbles by invading the USSR, the Nazis had been the USSR's ally and received help in rearming.

The point of communism is to put enough power into the hands of the proletariat so they could redistribute not only wealth and the means of production to themselves, but also to coerce intelligent people to provide their help on terms dictated by the proletariat.  The Soviet Constitution allegedly guaranteed freedom of religion but the proletariat had the power to deny work or services or assess someone in need of psychiatric institutionalization if they were deemed antisocial.  It is easy to suspect that one means of being deemed antisocial was to live the saved life and not share one's thoughts with every proletarian who thought he should have as much intelligence as anyone. 

Lastly, the handguns.  The Soviet Union's first domestically designed and manufactured handgun was a 25 caliber pocket pistol.  The Soviets' main domestically designed military handguns, the TT30/33 and the Makarov, were small, thin, and concealable. 

Suppose the idea was to tacitly encourage politically reliable members of their officer corps to "borrow" their service weapons upon discharge from service.  Then, it's easy to suspect that from time to time, talented or educated visitors to the Soviet Union were cordially invited to stay by the holders of these guns.  Suppose the West could sometimes do nothing but tell the victim's family "we advised not visiting" because of the strong Soviet military.
#2
(12-29-2025, 08:46 PM)Solvedit Wrote: The point of communism is to put enough power into the hands of the proletariat so they could redistribute not only wealth and the means of production to themselves,


And yet it results in a feudal one political party monopoly with a class of ruling elites where if you don’t believe in the state religion and are not part of the party, your screwed,

20 million dead from forced labour and famines would disagree with you. Ironic for a system that was supposed to put the means in the people’s hands. People victims of the KGB and the encouragement for neighbours to rat each other out had little to laugh about.
#3
"Putin dies and goes to hell, but after a while, he is given a day off for good behavior.
 
 So he goes to Moscow, enters a bar, orders a drink, and asks the bartender.

 Is Crimea ours?

 Yes, it is, says the bartender.

 And the Donbas?
 
 Also ours.
 
 And Kyiv?

 We got that too.

 Satisfied, Putin sits down on the stool and drinks, and asks.

Thanks, how much do I owe you?

5 Euros."  Saint2
"Yet so it is, we see the illiterate bulk of mankind that walk the high-road of plain common sense, and are governed by the dictates of nature, for the most part easy and undisturbed. To them nothing that is familiar appears unaccountable or difficult to comprehend."
#4
A UK citizen walks in to a bar full of self importance and classism.

Asked if children are still being called NEDs.  

People reply the system that is supposed to educate Children is still producing what people could stereotype as NEDs

The self righteous UK citizen gleeful there are still children to look down on and use as escape goats why the world is wrong to make derogatory remarks against walks out satisfied.
#5
(12-30-2025, 06:18 AM)WallFlowerActive Wrote: A UK citizen walks in to a bar full of self importance and classism.

Asked if children are still being called NEDs.  

People reply the system that is supposed to educate Children is still producing what people could stereotype as NEDs

The self righteous UK citizen gleeful there are still children to look down on and use as escape goats why the world is wrong to make derogatory remarks against walks out satisfied.

Yadda yadda yadda.

The fascination is strong with this one.

It's like fishing.  Saint2
"Yet so it is, we see the illiterate bulk of mankind that walk the high-road of plain common sense, and are governed by the dictates of nature, for the most part easy and undisturbed. To them nothing that is familiar appears unaccountable or difficult to comprehend."
#6
(12-30-2025, 06:26 AM)andy06shake Wrote: Yadda yadda yadda.

The fascination is strong with this one.

It's like fishing.  Saint2

Why do you remind me of the Pharisees of the New Testament.  Believe or not.  Lots of social truths in the Bible.  

Quote:Luke 18

[sup]10 [/sup]“Two men went up to the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector. [sup]11 [/sup]The Pharisee stood by himself and prayed: ‘God, I thank you that I am not like other people—robbers, evildoers, adulterers—or even like this tax collector. [sup]12 [/sup]I fast twice a week and give a tenth of all I get.’
[sup]13 [/sup]“But the tax collector stood at a distance. He would not even look up to heaven, but beat his breast and said, ‘God, have mercy on me, a sinner.’
[sup]14 [/sup]“I tell you that this man, rather than the other, went home justified before God. For all those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted.”
#7
(12-29-2025, 08:46 PM)Solvedit Wrote: Jokes from the Soviet Union and Warsaw Pact are appearing in my Youtube feed.  

A typical one goes like this:  The Soviet premier visits a city and sees people standing in line for blocks and blocks for bread.  He tells the people in line, "I do not want you to have to stand in line for hours for bread."  He shouts a few orders to his people and a short time later, several trucks arrive with bread and no one has to stand in line any more.

The premier sees another line, also several city blocks long, and asks "what is this line for?"  He is told it is for meat.  He says "I do not want you to have to stand in line for hours for meat." He shouts a few orders to his people, and soon a convoy of trucks arrives carrying chairs and no one has to stand in line any more. 
 

People used to interpret these solely as a knock against the Soviet system but some of those jokes may be interpreted in a different light.  Before the Soviet revolution, the average Russian peasant was said by some to be even poorer.  Then, they took what they could of the country.  Some Russian nobility were probably already primed to flee and had exported as much of their wealth as they could, so Lenin decided to demonize, then rob the wealthier peasants.  Then the communists made all the scientists and professionals who hadn't escaped work for the good of the people.  They had shoes, tractors to till the fields, Kukuruzniks to dust the crops, medical care provided by the state, some could even hope to obtain an automobile.

They stole a country for themselves and improved their lot by communizing the best efforts and wealth of their abler classes, but they still burned their eyes out on what the West had.  

Bearing in mind that their chosen method of improving their lot was to plunder the abler classes, this puts their militarism into clearer perspective.  They ate up their country and it wasn't enough.

Before June of 1941, the Soviet Union and Nazi Germany had been allies, yet the Soviets still thought they should build one of the largest militaries in the world, and it would probably have been more effective in early WW2 had Stalin not grown paranoid and purged his best generals.  In fact, one of the reasons the war turned around was he relented and called his surviving best leaders from exile.  Some claim this was because of the post-revolution fighting in which foreign powers tried to intervene, but this may have been because they saw the sinister writing on the wall about communism from the outset.  

The Soviets did not need their military might solely to ward off aggression.  Nazi Germany was not their polar opposite, they simply had a different idea on how to effect redistributionism because of their different degree of industrial development, i.e. they had some, and they foolishly went for all the marbles.

The point of communism is to put enough power into the hands of the proletariat so they could redistribute not only wealth and the means of production to themselves, but also to coerce intelligent people to provide their help on terms dictated by the proletariat.  The Soviet Constitution allegedly guaranteed freedom of religion but the proletariat had the power to deny work or services or assess someone in need of psychiatric institutionalization if they were deemed antisocial.  It is easy to suspect that one means of being deemed antisocial was to live the saved life and not share one's thoughts with every proletarian who thought he should have as much intelligence as anyone. 

Lastly, the handguns.  The Soviet Union's first domestically designed and manufactured handgun was a 25 caliber pocket pistol.  The Soviets' main domestically designed military handguns, the TT30/33 and the Makarov, were small, thin, and concealable.  Perhaps the idea was to tacitly encourage politically reliable members of their officer corps to "borrow" their service weapons upon discharge from service.  Then, it's easy to suspect that when talented or educated visitors to the Soviet Union were cordially invited to stay by the holders of these guns, the West could sometimes do nothing but tell the victim's family "we advised not visiting" because of the strong Soviet military.

I suppose life did get better for a lot of people compared to the old peasant days.

But at what cost?

Because progress came with fear, shortages, and no real choice.

Is that progress? 

The regime squeezed strong and skilled people hard, whilst paying little more than peanuts, watched everyone closely, and built a huge military partly to protect itself from its own failures.

They weren't just scared of enemies.

They were scared of losing control and falling behind the West.

Comparing them to Nazis makes sense in terms of methods, even if their ideologies differed.
"Yet so it is, we see the illiterate bulk of mankind that walk the high-road of plain common sense, and are governed by the dictates of nature, for the most part easy and undisturbed. To them nothing that is familiar appears unaccountable or difficult to comprehend."
#8
(12-30-2025, 06:30 AM)WallFlowerActive Wrote: Why do you remind me of the Pharisees of the New Testament.  Believe or not.  Lots of social truths in the Bible.  

Maybe try opening a history book next?

As to what i remind you of.

Sorry, you're not my type WallFlowerActive.

But again, cheers for the rent free head space. 

Jebus loves you, not me. Saint2

Now i suggest you return to the actual topic of the thread and lose that fascination.

If you have anything to say to me, do so via DM.

That way it stops the thread from being derailed on the first page.

And some other poor mod doesn't have to come along and clean up the mess.
"Yet so it is, we see the illiterate bulk of mankind that walk the high-road of plain common sense, and are governed by the dictates of nature, for the most part easy and undisturbed. To them nothing that is familiar appears unaccountable or difficult to comprehend."
#9
(12-30-2025, 06:18 AM)WallFlowerActive Wrote: Asked if children are still being called NEDs.  
alright .. gotta' ask .. what's a NED ??
Or is this joke so full of British culture that I, as an American, am not going to get it?
#10
(12-30-2025, 06:57 AM)FlyersFan Wrote: alright .. gotta' ask .. what's a NED ??
Or is this joke so full of British culture that I, as an American, am not going to get it?


Scottish?  Version of the US stereotype term white trash.