So I know a meth user.

[Unknownparadox]

Okay so I know a woman, I have known her for about 10 years. She shows up periodically, and hangs around for 3-5 months or something. The entire time I have figured she was on meth, but I could never get 100% proof, until today. 

She had invited me over for dinner, unfortunately her meth dealer showed up just before I got there. I knock on the door and it takes a few minutes to get answered. Even though she knew I would be there any time. She is cleaning cat litter box and the dealer opens the door. Someone I have never seen before. After opening the door they jet off to a table in another room and pick up a object, look at then set it back down, on a table.

No one ever says who this person is or anything, shortly after I get there they leave. So I go have a look at the object the dealer was interested in. It's a glass pipe, it doesn't smell like pot. In fact it has no smell, but I could clearly see it had been used quite a bit. Of course I have never seen this pipe. And I have a good idea why. Since I can not think of anything that you could smoke in a pipe that has no smell. Does anyone know of something, that I don't?

So I didn't want to flat out ask were the two of you just smoking meth. So what did was, I started coughing, and kept on coughing, until she says are you alright. I said yeah, I shouldn't have hit that pipe, I thought it was pot, which I didn't hit it. She didn't say a word, she didn't even ask what pipe or anything. 

Keep in mind this person is always telling me they don't use meth. They know I hate the shit and meth users in general. And of course they are always in need of help, so I gave her some construction work to do, to try and help her out. Of course I have always figured it was because of meth. I don't think she is a hard core user, because she still has her teeth, but she still acts like a meth user, full of excuses.

I don't have many choices here. I can say you have lied to me for years about this shit, I am done. Or I know you are using meth, would you like some help to quit, which I don't see going over well.

I am not sure how to handle this. Any suggestions would be appreciated.

[Maxmars]

Okay so I know a woman, ....

This is a difficult situation... but it isn't one thing is it?

DO you really feel more betrayed or angry that she is using meth?  Or that you didn't know?

Is the problem the meth (of course it is) or that you were 'on the outside' of it... a place kept from you.

I recommend always separate your anger, from disappointment...

and at least open up to the idea that you didn't know because she didn't want you upset.

As for her use.  The only question I would ask is "Do you want to stop?"  And take it from there.

There are a million ways to answer, and respond tot hat answer... I don't think there is a formula for how best to proceed, but the pro's do know a thing or two... maybe that route.

If you care about her, even only as a friend... you will have to wrestle with your heart on the next move.

Old timers like me used to get great relief simply talking to a priest or minister or some such... back then it wasn't activism... things maybe different now.

If your looking for next step suggestions... all I can offer is 

Remember this is human being your dealing with, not an object to pity, not someone to give grief to... do more listening... and accept that if it is beyond her control... you can't take control for her unless you love her, heart and soul.

Helping is about more than ending the problem.

[argentus]

Okay so I know a woman, I have known her for about 10 years. She shows up periodically, and hangs around for 3-5 months or something. The entire time I have figured she was on meth, but I could never get 100% proof, until today. 

I am not sure how to handle this. Any suggestions would be appreciated.

If this woman genuinely matters to you, I would sit down and have a frank discussion.   If she is someone you know but are not emotionally invested in, I would counsel you to cut her a wide path, and not try to follow up.  

The fact that she invited you to dinner infers that she has some feelings for you, and the fact that you went also infers you feel somewhat the same.   I think it is possible that you two have something to share with each other, but don't allow her to include you in her drug habit.   You don't need that.  You have enough worries in your life without an addiction.  

JMVHO.

[KTemplar]

Run

How are you sure it wasn’t another drug like cr@ck?

Meth users can become completely delusional and do some insane stuff.  A cr@ck user will stay up all night talking about stupid stuff.

Im not sure if Meth users get hungry? I’m going to guess probably not.

I found out years after I left my ex, he and his DEMON brother also used Meth, as well as @xy, c@c@ine, pot, other pills ….. the list goes on.  They worked together so I had no idea.

im going to tell you two stories of people I knew of/witnessed in one case who were on Meth.

case #1, I’m living in AZ, get a call from my neighbor don’t go outside.  I’m like why? He says look out your window, it was a full swat team with full high powered gear walking slowly in front of my house.  They were looking for a neighbor 6 houses down who on Meth stabbed his girlfriend in the face, so she took off and he grabbed his rifle and was roaming the neighborhood to finish the job.  Thank god they caught him.

case#2 my cousins son went out with a girl one night, down South, not near me so I don’t really know the areas, and she gave him something to smoke.  My cousin gets a call from him.  He’s hysterical And saying he hit something with his car and he can hear helicopters and he’s hiding behind a barn.  Two hours later she actually finds him, middle of nowhere.  Tries to find the car, it’s gone.  Tracks it to a junkyard and while retrieving it asks to guy how bad is the damage.  He tells her there is no damage, someone just found it in the middle of the road runnng.  Not a scratch or dent.  

Just remembered another time visiting a friend 30 years ago, her son shows up out of nowhere.  Telling her hes afraid, they are coming to get him.  She had to deal with that paranoia for the whole night.  I was so freaked out of course I left pronto.

You can see about her from a distance, on the phone even, but you don’t know what could happen to you either as a victim of circumstance or bystander.

[Unknownparadox]

DO you really feel more betrayed or angry that she is using meth?  Or that you didn't know?

I always knew. I just didn't have proof.  I am really not angry. My biggest gripe is she is undependable and full of excuses. Which I am pretty sure is because of the meth. Which I been on her about that. If she quit that I really wouldn't care if she smokes meth. I don't want any, just don't jerk me around.

and at least open up to the idea that you didn't know because she didn't want you upset.

That is possible I do rail on meth use. But that's because my last x her brother was a cook and there was nothing but constant trouble. Maybe I'll just let it slide. Or try to think of some clever way to offer help without without directly confronting her.

Thanks for the reply and suggestions.

[Unknownparadox]

If this woman genuinely matters to you, I would sit down and have a frank discussion.   If she is someone you know but are not emotionally invested in, I would counsel you to cut her a wide path, and not try to follow up.  

Do you mean just tell her about it and part ways?
 

The fact that she invited you to dinner infers that she has some feelings for you, and the fact that you went also infers you feel somewhat the same.   I think it is possible that you two have something to share with each other

Yeah we do kinda flirt around, but I am a little scared of her, because of the meth use. Meth users tend to carry hepatitis. 

Thanks for the reply and suggestion

[KTemplar]

Do you mean just tell her about it and part ways?
 
Yeah we do kinda flirt around, but I am a little scared of her, because of the meth use. Meth users tend to carry hepatitis. 

Thanks for the reply and suggestion

I forgot about the hep thing.  I was tested every year for 13 years after leaving my ex, and thank God I’m clean, no diseases.  

I was pissed I even had to go through that, another reason to Run!

[Unknownparadox]

How are you sure it wasn’t another drug like cr@ck?

Well I am not, but I am pretty sure it's meth, she has admitted to using it in the past. I know her x he offered me a pipe not long back pretty sure it was meth.

im going to tell you two stories of people I knew of/witnessed in one case who were on Meth.

Yeah my last x her bother was a cook. And his wife was a pill head. He put him and her in the hospital when he decided to break her from Xanax. He hits her over the head with a stick after about half a bottle, then decides he needs to be fair about it, and hits himself over the head with the stick. Putting them both in the hospital.

I have no idea how many time he went to jail for I don't know how many reasons. She isn't that bad.

But I know what you are saying. Run is the best options for the least amount of drama and BS

Thanks for the reply and suggestion

[chr0naut]

Okay so I know a woman, I have known her for about 10 years. She shows up periodically, and hangs around for 3-5 months or something. The entire time I have figured she was on meth, but I could never get 100% proof, until today. 

She had invited me over for dinner, unfortunately her meth dealer showed up just before I got there. I knock on the door and it takes a few minutes to get answered. Even though she knew I would be there any time. She is cleaning cat litter box and the dealer opens the door. Someone I have never seen before. After opening the door they jet off to a table in another room and pick up a object, look at then set it back down, on a table.

No one ever says who this person is or anything, shortly after I get there they leave. So I go have a look at the object the dealer was interested in. It's a glass pipe, it doesn't smell like pot. In fact it has no smell, but I could clearly see it had been used quite a bit. Of course I have never seen this pipe. And I have a good idea why. Since I can not think of anything that you could smoke in a pipe that has no smell. Does anyone know of something, that I don't?

So I didn't want to flat out ask were the two of you just smoking meth. So what did was, I started coughing, and kept on coughing, until she says are you alright. I said yeah, I shouldn't have hit that pipe, I thought it was pot, which I didn't hit it. She didn't say a word, she didn't even ask what pipe or anything. 

Keep in mind this person is always telling me they don't use meth. They know I hate the shit and meth users in general. And of course they are always in need of help, so I gave her some construction work to do, to try and help her out. Of course I have always figured it was because of meth. I don't think she is a hard core user, because she still has her teeth, but she still acts like a meth user, full of excuses.

I don't have many choices here. I can say you have lied to me for years about this shit, I am done. Or I know you are using meth, would you like some help to quit, which I don't see going over well.

I am not sure how to handle this. Any suggestions would be appreciated.

I would be very wary of amphetamine abusers.

You should be clear and factual about your disappointment, but be aware that even if they say they want to get off it, that they may not really have any such intention.

Also, if they do wish to get clean, they will, most likely, require professional help. It is very hard for them to do it alone. Don't try to help them yourself, keeping their secret, without involving expert medical assistance.

There are drug-dependence hotlines and counsellors almost everywhere in the world. Make use of their resources.

[worldstarcountry]

Unfortunately, in my travels, I have never ever met a woman that did not trade her mouth or open her legs for drugs when she is running light on funds. Only thing women keep their dignity with is pot and pot alone. Once a woman moves on to powder, pills, meth whatever else ... she becomes a mobile motel over time, even when she appears completely and perfectly functional.

It is the steady supply that keeps her functional, and her body alone can keep her supplied when hours at work get slim. This was my experience and observations as an outside observer associated with the likes who I would never associate with ever again.

I really really really hate seeing women exploited. And any woman on drugs harder than marijuana will see a time they accept being exploited for that chemical balance they have ruined with their choices. 

Don't know what your level of commitment is on this lady. If she is just an employee and no sign of stolen funds or supplies than she should be functionally fine. However, if you were emotionally or intimately involved, either go all in and invest on trying to save her, or just cut your losses. If she is past 35 its about 85% chance you will not be able to save her. But 15% is still hope if the sincere desire to help is there.

All hope is not lost, its up to you whether you feel it is worth the effort. it is an uphill battle in a blizzard.