Ladies! Or men I guess........what is too big of an age gap in relationship?

[Shoshanna]

For the most part, after 25, a decade apart doesn't mean much, *but*

Guys are generally a few to ten years behind maturity-wise. So when going younger there is an adjusted true age to consider. For guys anyway.

26 male is a around 16-18 female, on average.

Your ex in the reverse position dating the
24 year old is actually closer to his average adjusted age. And may actually high 5 over his conquest? 

That's the GENERAL answer for age differences among M/F relationships. 

Here is the girl answer...

Did you find Duckie from outside Molly Ringwald's house? 

Lost puppies that are warm to the touch drive me insane. And this one sounds like the most lost of puppies. Did you give him an attention milk bone once? 

Like the total absence of confidence and the creepy processing to always be showing up is red flag city.

Some might find the persistence endearing, but there is cute persistence and there is uncomfortable persistence. 

That definitely sounds like the uncomfortable kind.

I had a lost puppy do that once. Sometimes it's not worth their libido tips. I may have been too nice for gratuity at first.

The third time he came in I started bringing up my girlfriend when hed talk to me. But some men just won't see the pink triangle even if you lay it on with what you assumed was a pretty heavy hint to fuck off.  Even worse is if they add it to their imagined relationship with you, and still keep showing up. He eventually got the hint when they allowed me to leave if he showed up.

It is like Butters in that South Park episode where he thinks he's in a relationship with the "raisins" girl.  But that was innocent Butters not knowing any better, if they still do that mid 20s, they are completely destined for nerdery, staying virgins, collecting funko pop, being creepy stalkers, just autistic, or all of the above.

Yes see this is kind of my thinking too. Like why are you trying this hard are you desperate or is there somethinf wrong with you that makes you undateable?! But then my friends are like you know. Good friends. So they're always like "girl you're hot why wouldn't guys want to date you it doesn't mean they're weirdos" 

But I think there maybe has to be SOMETHING wrong with him somehow because it isn't computing in my mind i guess that a young guy would be interested in me. I have been described as "grandmotherly" by a few people actually.

[Shoshanna]

It's a vulnerable time for you, given your situation and your age. I'm not saying you are but you might be seen as an easy target for 'players' or such like.

Women too have that biological clock thing going on and also worry about losing their looks. Men don't really have those issues.

It might be that you are super hot with resources ...or small fat, frumpy and skint lol. I can't say but that too might tell you something!

Good luck with whatever you decide! I'd just be cautious.

Ha. Well maybe I'm all of the above! My dad's old man friends say I look like a young Eartha Kitt haven't figured out if that's a compliment but I take it as one. A bizarre compliment!

[quintessentone]

Ha. Well maybe I'm all of the above! My dad's old man friends say I look like a young Eartha Kitt haven't figured out if that's a compliment but I take it as one. A bizarre compliment!

They say a woman emotionally and intellectually has divorced her husband years before she actually does it, so I'd say you are good to go, but that is your call.

I've dated both younger and older, ended up with a my generation partner, and we reflect on past experiences and have many discussions and commonalities, including the sharing the great music from our era.

It may have been the younger I dated were not ripe enough for me yet, and the older were too hardened and stinky...as cheese.

It all depends on what you want and need, but timing is everything, but even with that people and things can change rapidly. You really only know somebody through and through when you live with them.

[midicon]

Ha. Well maybe I'm all of the above! My dad's old man friends say I look like a young Eartha Kitt haven't figured out if that's a compliment but I take it as one. A bizarre compliment!

I'm old enough to be your dad! I'd take that as a compliment!

I just say to you what I'd say to my daughter!

[David64]

Ha. Well maybe I'm all of the above! My dad's old man friends say I look like a young Eartha Kitt haven't figured out if that's a compliment but I take it as one. A bizarre compliment!

Eartha Kitt is absolutely a compliment. I had a huge crush on her when she played Cat Woman on Batman.

Age gap depends on the people involved. My wife is 10 years younger than I, but it makes no difference.

[rickymouse]

I know girls in their twenties that were after older guys, usually because the older guys were more mature and they wanted a more stable relationship...less drama.  I know some guys who liked older women too, their relationships worked out pretty well  but sooner or later they drove the older woman nuts and the relationship fell apart.  The appeal of doing lots of stuff with the younger guy soon wore off, they got tired of constantly going camping, hiking, four wheeling, and water sports after a while

There are also younger women and guys who just target older people because they can milk them dry financially.  So there are things to be aware of.  It is your choice what you do with your life, but remember, younger people seem to wear you out and sooner or later things might fall apart.

My present wife is almost four years older than me, I was tired of dating younger ones with their constant desire to "go go go" when I met her.  And there is also one thing I thought of back then, I wanted a lasting relationship, and one where neither of us would have to live alone as long when the other died.  Women tend to live longer, so I chose to level the playing field.  Our marriage turned forty now, so I guess we are doing ok. 

It is up to you to choose what you want to do with your life, but beware, there are some pretty deceitful people out there that want to take advantage of the niceness of others.  I know girls and women who figured they could straighten out a wild guy too....I don't know one of them that succeeded and I know lots of people.  Same goes the other way, wild girls are hard to tame too.

[Thoughtful3]

Yes see this is kind of my thinking too. Like why are you trying this hard are you desperate or is there somethinf wrong with you that makes you undateable?! But then my friends are like you know. Good friends. So they're always like "girl you're hot why wouldn't guys want to date you it doesn't mean they're weirdos" 

But I think there maybe has to be SOMETHING wrong with him somehow because it isn't computing in my mind i guess that a young guy would be interested in me. I have been described as "grandmotherly" by a few people actually.

The age difference, he's 26 and you are 37, is not that far apart. Imagine 40 years. That's right, my daughter married a man 40 years older. I have no idea what they could talk about. But then there are other attractions.
Super awkward. He was closer in age to my parents.

Can you imagine the introductions? Here's my son-in-law. If they had children the baby would be an aunt/uncle to my older children. Seriously messed up.
He passed away recently but before he even had one foot in the grave [he hadn't even died yet]she had found the next one 30 years older. 
Still older than me.

The 11 years difference wouldn't put you in this league. I've been living in fast lane of crazy for years.

She has mental illness so I'm not certain why they would want to take this on. Plus she has been a wild one. Never will be tamed.

At one point she was living with a super bowl football player. Never a dull moment.

[Ignorant]

There's always the divide by 2 add 7 rule. 37/2+7 = 25.5 so you're barely okay.

But as with all rules that oversimplify complex social situations, it's not every useful. The real answer is: It depends. First and foremost, you need to be very aware of your advantage. 11 years of life experience is a lot, and if you wanted to manipulate this guy in some way, you probably could. So make sure you don't do that. I know, seems like it goes without saying, but sometimes we manipulate people without knowing it. It's something I'd be careful of if I were you.

With that out of the way, if both parties are clear on it just being a fling, fuck it, why not?

If you want it to be a long-term thing, there's some common pitfalls, I'd ask myself the following questions:
1) Do you want children? Does he?
2) Is he emotionally mature enough for you to respect him as an equal?
3) Do you have enough in common to enjoy each other's company long-term, even after the initial infatuation has faded?

Anyway, you won't know any of this until you actually get to know him. Doing that surely won't hurt. As for society's judgment, fuck 'em, you do you. I know, easy for me to say.

[Sirius]

Fuck them, fuck him it's not complicated....crude I know hmmm...nope can't come up with anything else

[Roma]

Sorry to hear you're going through this Sho.  Everyone is going to give their $0.02 but if he treats you well, you have common interests and there's a level of attraction then I'd say give it a chance.  Besides, are you looking for anything heavy coming out of a relationship?

When I was in my 20's I dated older women.  I never paid attention to the rules, formulas or opinions of others.  To me, it was all about the connection.  The footnote to that is just pay attention to the red flags.

That's dating advice from an old, broken down, former fitness instructor/current house music DJ.

Best of luck to you.