DID, ASPD, Schizophrenia

[85303]

Fuck dudes? Really? Maxmars made a wall of text explain things after witch I replied "Yes seek professional help, holistically. There are many support structures in a community."

Rehab is rehabilitation, they teach you to integrate back into society.

I figured you had links, or something more I guess.  Always hoping.  Not often you just say yuh, and move on.

[85303]

And for maxmars so called wall, paragraph really, I have read basically that a million times.  Science has nothing, therapy is a joke unless you really need another human to talk to, I have plenty, then there's psychological nonsense behind the therapy nonsense that basically suggests it's made up imaginary bullshit.

Rehab doesn't fix anything that doesn't want to get fixed already and this isn't something any amount of rehabilitation can fix.  

I used to think I'd be lucky to remember anything.  
Right now I'm thinking I'd be lucky to just stop and forget everything again.

[Sirius]

I figured you had links, or something more I guess.  Always hoping.  Not often you just say yuh, and move on.

Okay, so exactly what is going on?

some questions.

When last did you have good sleep?
Is there something you are eating that is making things worse or not eating? Lack of sugar and drinking coffee can make you feel terrible, stuff like this.
Are you taking drugs that makes you paranoid?

edit: AI tends to make things worse

[UltraBudgie]

i dont really believe in the single unified consciousness "me" model sometimes. i think we're all split up beings and the idea of a single unified "here is what i am and how i feel" is bs, thats something that we only sort of act like some times. lots of people repress themselves. call it the unconscious or shadow or whatever. split off and pretend. not everyone can do that as well as the cold sociopaths. the fact that they sort of win in this society kinda indicates how messed up this society is, in that regard. pretty sure psychology is really messed up too, if they tell you something is abnormal or normal its good to really question that. it is good to be able to be functional in this society, but to have that be your natural state? what a shitshow this world is, why make that what you want to effortlessly be? you have to kill so much of yourself for that.

so yeah i think we're all kind of schizo. that just means 'split'. look at our brains. split right down the middle. and you can (if your a monster) scoop out half of someones brain and they still are kind of a functional person with a personality and everything. scoop out the other half and their a different personality. but they can still be surprisingly functional! that sort of indicates that there's at least two 'me's inside our heads doesn't it? if that's how you define self, anyway, i mean.

really there's lots of brain bits going on. they're there if you notice them, and don't get too stuck up on having to pretend you aren't a collective being. don't get lost in the crowd; be the consciousness that connects them all. blabed a thread about it here.

guess we've got to pretend, to get along in this world, or life sucks. but we don't have to pretend we aren't pretending, ya know? or even abandon much of anything really (science, etc). just don't expect everyone to understand.

maybe that addresses one level of your post: having a brain and being a person in this world; i don't think it works quite like (or even close to really) how common view of psychology and medicine and stuff tries to teach you it does. gotta figure that out on our own i guess. but there's another level, maybe, and many more that your question brings up, about being an individuated consciousness attuned to a particular life, sense of self and all that. deeper stuff.

ok enuf.

[Kwaka]

Schizophrenia does cover a broad range of conditions. At the more moderate level, hearing voices is a common one. At the more minor level, a lot of conflicting and degrading thoughts are common. There are medications that can help.

With DID, more of a chronic condition. Have not heard of a lot of success in treatment. The individual learning to live with the different alters is the main approach with my limited experience.

ASPD, don't know much, sounds like going through a ratbag, young and stupid stage in life. Some people grow out of it more than others. If Agoraphobia develops with a fear of the outside world it does become limiting.

Lots of kind of crazy in this world. Good on you for doing your homework and asking questions.

[Sirius]

I'm not schizoid or anything like that, I can induce the symptoms and even know of ways to make some of it permanent. I also know where some of paths go and that is why I say get help in a holistic fashion. Speak with someone.

What I have is a burning rage from a fire that never goes out in my heart. My first reaction to 99% of replies to any post I make is "YOU DENSE MOTHER FUCKER!" and then I take a breath and go with compassion and empathy.

How did I get this way? My introduction to all the depravities that life has to offer started at age 5 and then continued for a long time. I got help in a fashion, someone near and dear to me didn't an her mind shattered, others never made it.

I don't know what is going on with you @85303 or your life path, what I do know is that without or with the wrong help it only gets worse. Look after the mind, body and soul.

[85303]

Okay, so exactly what is going on?

some questions.

When last did you have good sleep?
Is there something you are eating that is making things worse or not eating? Lack of sugar and drinking coffee can make you feel terrible, stuff like this.
Are you taking drugs that makes you paranoid?

edit: AI tends to make things worse

. Not getting too much into the why... (Is what I said before writing this)

But to address your questions, I recently quit drinking.  I've been a daily drinker for as long as I've been old enough to buy it.  Before that even just not daily.  I quit about 4 months ago.  Maybe six weeks ago I tried clonazepam for the first time because I wasn't able to function and was lashing out at things I thought were going wrong.  I had an opposite reaction, followed by a brief breakdown.  Talked to my wife for hours about everything I've been holding in about our relationship and there was loads of baggage.  My brain felt like this twisting pinching pain released.  Like a headache you don't feel until your not in pain.  The same sort of feeling in my gut, released.   

About two weeks ago I contacted my sister for the first time in years and she told me about my brother raping her when we were kids and my other brother raping her when she was a child. I flipped out again.

I've been having vivid awful dreams of growing up in the worst home imaginable.  Dreams of memories and memories when I'm awake.


I have never in my life slept well.  At age ten I'd wander the towns we lived in to burn energy from midnight to 3 am so I could be up for school by 6:30

Diet is shit, drugs are mostly cannabis, mostly.  cocaine doesn't stop me from meditating myself to sleep. I don't use anything else, and I'm terrible at being addicted. I'd rather stay laying in bed then get up and worry about that crap.

[85303]

Schizophrenia does cover a broad range of conditions. At the more moderate level, hearing voices is a common one. At the more minor level, a lot of conflicting and degrading thoughts are common. There are medications that can help.

With DID, more of a chronic condition. Have not heard of a lot of success in treatment. The individual learning to live with the different alters is the main approach with my limited experience.

ASPD, don't know much, sounds like going through a ratbag, young and stupid stage in life. Some people grow out of it more than others. If Agoraphobia develops with a fear of the outside world it does become limiting.

Lots of kind of crazy in this world. Good on you for doing your homework and asking questions.

You know I did develope some agoraphobia symptoms my first time in Montreal.  I handled that like all my problems.  Moved there and lived it for 20 years.

Homework is the purpose of the thread. Information gathering before moving forward in any direction

[Sirius]

. Not getting too much into the why... (Is what I said before writing this)

But to address your questions, I recently quit drinking.  I've been a daily drinker for as long as I've been old enough to buy it.  Before that even just not daily.  I quit about 4 months ago.  Maybe six weeks ago I tried clonazepam for the first time because I wasn't able to function and was lashing out at things I thought were going wrong.  I had an opposite reaction, followed by a brief breakdown.  Talked to my wife for hours about everything I've been holding in about our relationship and there was loads of baggage.  My brain felt like this twisting pinching pain released.  Like a headache you don't feel until your not in pain.  The same sort of feeling in my gut, released.   

About two weeks ago I contacted my sister for the first time in years and she told me about my brother raping her when we were kids and my other brother raping her when she was a child. I flipped out again.

I've been having vivid awful dreams of growing up in the worst home imaginable.  Dreams of memories and memories when I'm awake.


I have never in my life slept well.  At age ten I'd wander the towns we lived in to burn energy from midnight to 3 am so I could be up for school by 6:30

Diet is shit, drugs are mostly cannabis, mostly.  cocaine doesn't stop me from meditating myself to sleep. I don't use anything else, and I'm terrible at being addicted. I'd rather stay laying in bed then get up and worry about that crap.

This might sound weird but cannabis binds emotional states, it's like a replay button.

You can get mood stabilizing medication, I don't enjoy it much, but it helps. The shit in your head you need to talk about and get out, there are medication that can help with this also if it's too much.  There are holistic things like hypnosis.

The vivid dreams are possible because of sleep states that was bad due to your vices and things are balancing out. If you smoke allot of weed and then stop you have some crazy ass dreams. Your physical wellness is going to play a big role on your mental wellness.

[Nerb]

This might sound weird but cannabis binds emotional states, it's like a replay button.

You can get mood stabilizing medication, I don't enjoy it much, but it helps. The shit in your head you need to talk about and get out, there are medication that can help with this also if it's too much.  There are holistic things like hypnosis.

The vivid dreams are possible because of sleep states that was bad due to your vices and things are balancing out. If you smoke allot of weed and then stop you have some crazy ass dreams. Your physical wellness is going to play a big role on your mental wellness.

A lot of truth in what you say here.

It's not what we do to a mind but the mind that we do it to.