(11-29-2025, 06:43 PM)DontTreadOnMe Wrote: So, you do not believe in Demons? Devils? Evil Forces? Absolute Evil?
I believe in the perception of such things. And the ability to make choices that would be perceived as such
But I very literally went looking for the darkest and/or most "evil" things in existence during the (dimensional) underworld process of initiation ...
And all I ever found was pain
Nothing that amounted to what could be defined as genuine "evil"
I felt pain of death. I remote viewed as a fully conscious and aware passenger on people being murdered. To the point where I felt the blade in my chest under my ribs. I could taste the steel in the back of my throat
These remote viewed experiences are well beyond simple astral projection. They are like waking up in someone elses body, as conscious and real as if you own. You can see, hear, touch, taste, smell, everything
You feel what they feel, you share their thoughts. The only difference between you and them, is that you are also consciously aware and awake as yourself. So you not only feel their emotions and thoughts, but also your own. It is a very strange sensation, which is hard to explain. It is part of why we spend years learning to think bi-directionally (cyclically), so we are able to think and feel we two people at once, without being disconnected from them by our own emotions and thoughts
Through this, I got to experience things such as a persons last moments as they were murdered
His final words were "Don't do it to me again!" (because his killer needed to electricute him a second time, when he woke up the first time
His last thought was "this is not fair!" and I felt a sadness so deep, that it felt like every hope and joy you could ever know in life, being taken from you all at once
I felt this with him, and at the same time I felt as red-hot an anger and rage as I've ever felt in my life, at the one who killed him
And for a moment, as he left his body and I drifted out of him, something else took over his place and aligned with me, that felt like the fire if creation itself
I looked into the eyes of the man who killed him, and his eyes were as real and deep as any I've ever seen. And in that moment, in a room he was thought was empty except for himself and the body, he jumped backwards in absolute shock. He saw me (or what I was attached to) and he was terrified
And within that shock, I/we entered him through his eyes
"We" told him that he had just killed himself, and told him exactly when he was going to die
And within his fear, and the red-hot rage of whatever it was the came to meet him ... There was only pain
No evil to speak of, even if the choices and acts could be considered so. Just sadness and pain
This is just one example
I've had experienced and conversations with many named "evil" entities, and again, there was nothing in them but pain and sadness
Layers of pain, that locked them in a decaying cycle
Within one who was supposed to be the Christian devil, I looked into that were burned and burst open, and I felt one of the deepest "holes" of sadness and pain I've ever felt
It felt something like when you are falling and you stomach goes into your throat. Except much, much deeper. As it is had no bottom, or you would never stop falling
But I keep going as deep into their eyes as I could, feeling layers and layers of "weight" pushing down on my physical body, and when I got to the bottom all I found was horrific pain
And one of the most beautiful souls I'd ever encountered in such a way
A soul willing to let the entire world hate them unfairly, if it meant it would take away their pains. It seemed to feel as though the only way to prove itself worthy of its creation (and it's creator) was to destroy itself, trying to take on all the pains of this world by itself
It felt like the embodiment of fire and the sun, which destroyed, but also allowed for life to exist
A moment of purest pain, stretched across time and space as fire, that allowed a stillness, calmness and balance within which life, beauty and love could come forth
Within the decay stretched between them, there was all manner of darkness, hate, and things that could be considered evil. But it all just goes back to pain at its core
The "Demons" do not exist to further or promote this pain, or the cycles of decay. Merely to indentify it and bring it to light
The only "evil" within them, is our perception of how they align the decay, or use our pains
But the pain and decay still belongs to those who perceive it
If you take away that which they use to attack you, or hurt you, you not only take away their ability to do so, you take away their reason to target you
You take away the justification. You take away the darkness within your soul, that would see you afraid of such entities, or fearing what they are able to do to you within any physical limiting capacity
They threatened to physically hurt me or kill me. I proved I was not afraid to die
They threatened to physically hurt or kill my only son (called Joshua, believe it or not) and I told them to do it. I would rather see him dead, than submit to something that would threaten in such a way
I would see it done myself, by my own hand, before I would ever submit to such a threat
Instead, I just cut him out of my life and cut off contact
I cut off everyone and everything they could use to hurt me. Every friend. Every family member
I literally gave up everything I loved. So they would have no way to control or influence me
They started to align the world around me, I became a recluse for years. I did not go out. I did not do anything
It is impossible for them to manipulate me through my alignment to the world, if I'm literally living in a cave
I went as deep into the "underworld" process as possible, meeting every possible fear and threat, with a sense of obligation to meeting and overcoming any "entities" that would test in such a way
People around me died. They killed people. They killed animals. They killed plants
At one stage, they had me nearly convinced that I was the literal angel of death, based on my name, and the fact that everything around me was dying
I would lose my temper, and I knew straight after I did, that one of my pets would be dead the next day. Or I would find dead animals everywhere in my yard. Or someone I care about would get sick, injured or die, or something similar
But, I came to realise that the alignment works both ways. These things happening, were causing me to get angry, as much as the other way around. And in order to align with the world in such a way that you can influence positive change and heal within creation, you must also have an equal alignment and capacity within decay to destroy
The deaths and destruction are merely incidental to the process
They are merely a process of cycle, no different to life and creation
Again ... In all of this ... I still found nothing I would define as true evil
In my encounters with entities like "Baphomet", both as a goat-man, and an Asian man sitting in a throne made out of severed human body parts, I saw no real evil
In these encounters they tried to push "fear" and a fire of pure rage exploded from inside me. A feeling of the purest emotion I have ever felt. Like feeling every emotion all at once, in such a way that love and pain felt like one in it same
One pushed to make me afraid saying "I am Baphomet!" and something exploded inside of me challenging them saying "And I am Samael", and they were terrified
Within every one of these interactions, I am literally looking for a real evil
I have gone into every dark abyss. Tested every mythology and every name
It feels like I am looking for the "evil" that people profess to exist. That the religions warn of
I've found all the so-called "demons". All the "devils" (all the angels and "Gods" too) ... And I've looked as deep and far into their eyes and soul as I can go ... And found nothing even close to real evil
Only layers of tremendous pain
I've seen people doing things perceived evil. I've felt the act itself as them, and I've felt it from the perspective of those they do it to ... No evil. Just pain
Even when they enjoy it. No evil. Just pain
The closest thing I've felt to real evil, as it is commonly defined, was through one of my dimensional entity "friends" I connect with throughout the initiation process
It was when I met the goat headed "Baphomet" and they tried looking into my eyes, to force their way into my mind
This triggered the most pure rage I've ever felt to explode from inside of me, that felt something like a dragon of pure fire pouring out of my throat in a silent, but white hot scream
I was literally jolted upwards off the bed, out of my meditative state, like something took over my body. Something perfectly synced with not only me, but the fire and source of creation itself
It felt like waves of fire were coursing over and through my body. I could see ripples of pearl-shell like ether rippling as I looked around the room
The feeling of fire coursed over me every 5 seconds or so like waves crashing over a beach. And it was an emotion so pure it is hard to put in words. It is what I mentioned before, a feeling like every emotion you could ever feel, being felt all at once. Crashing over you in waves
With the surge I felt a mind emerging that was not my own, that felt somewhat like God
I closed my eyes and realised I could see the waves of fire with my eyes closed
I could see the outline of the room, my body and everything around me, like it was made of fire
I held my hand up and I could see the outline of fire, even with my eyes closed
I saw visions and flashes of horrific acts of what could be perceived "evil" as clear as if I were watching them myself. I saw a young girl getting beaten to death with a baseball bat, graphically. Her head being beaten to mush. I saw myself doing these things. I felt myself doing them. But there was no feeling of good or bad within it
Whatever had risen up from within me, seemed to be showing these things to the entity named Baphomet and the "demons" intentionally
To show them that it existed on a level where their attempts to use fear to control someone like myself would not work, as long as they were connected to/with/through me
They seemed shocked that "we" could be experiencing these horrific acts, and feel nothing
So it went further than this, and showed them what it was like to do these things and feel pure primal pleasure
For a moment, I felt pure pleasure, with a horrific swing of the bat. A shudder through my body, with the waves of fire, like nothing I've ever felt
But just as quickly, this was replaced by laughter and amusement at how horrified these supposed "demons" were, that they were witnessing something like this and being subjected to it
But even in the moment, that I would describe as touching the darkest and purest abandon of emotion to primal urges (to a degree well beyond what would be normally possible to any human, without dimensional help), I did not see any real evil
A genuine attempt to recreate what people perceive as evil. Yes
To the point where it horrified so-called "demons" in its brutality and complete pleasurable abandon? Yes
But it was done intentionally. It was calculated within choice, in order to gain a very particular reaction
Which means it is no more than the actions and choices that could be considered evil
Even within the amusement it provided to horrify them in such a way, I felt no real "evil' behind it
And I doubt there is anything as deliberate, extreme and calculated as the entity I connected with in existence l
It felt as thought all the entities, demons, angels and "Gods" I had encountered, in every dimension and realm, had all been pretending, compared to this entity
Like they were playing Gods and Devils, and then the real thing turned up momentarily to give them, and myself some perspective, through a very definitive type of experience
I felt like neither God, nor the devil. But perhaps a culmination of everything both of them represent all at once
And if I still could not find the "evil" I was looking for, the one everyone claims exists, then I doubt that such a thing exists
But even if it does, it is well beyond the limitations of our perceptive within this world
Because I have literally died, more than once, to chase concepts like "God" and "Evil" as deep into the unknown (underworld) realms of the mysteries as they will go
I've been laying sick, to the point of dying for many years, examining the boundaries between the worlds of the living and the dead, and where the seen and unseen worlds meet
I have yet to find anything I could define as "God" or "evil"
I've sat on a council with entities that are most likely the connected to the creation of this world. I have seen this world and other worlds created. Met those that create them. I have seen them change the physics of this world at will, in a way that could only be done if they controlled the source of the worlds creation. But I still have seen no "God"
Only those that could be considered such. Or possibly could be
But they are no different within the root of their soul to what I feel within my self
It is the same with evil
I've looked as deep as anyone you will ever likely meet
I've learned the structures and systems of creation and decay in the process, that it feels like we are never meant to know whilst we are in this world
And so far I have found nothing beyond myself
Every just feels like another layer of self, needing to be uncovered
As I know and understand myself to be neither God, nor evil ...
Nor do I expect I will ever find such things, regardless of how many layers, or degree of dimension I align with/to/in