Another Blonde joke

[David64]

A Blonde is sitting at the kitchen table when her boyfriend walks in and says "What are you doing ? "
She says "Its a jig saw puzzle"
He says " What's supposed to look like ? " She holds up the box and says "See? It's going to be a rooster"

He says " Honey, put the Cornflakes back in the box '

[LeeroyTheRooster]

Hahaha.  I gotta remember this one for work tomorrow!

[rickymouse]

A Blonde is sitting at the kitchen table when her boyfriend walks in and says "What are you doing ? "
She says "Its a jig saw puzzle"
He says " What's supposed to look like ? " She holds up the box and says "See? It's going to be a rooster"

He says " Honey, put the Cornflakes back in the box '

I'd bet that I could assemble cornflakes to make a Rooster.  I would bet someone here who is a way better artist than I am could do a better job than me.  I found a bunch of rocks one day that had once been mozaiced to a rock that had the top ground to a rectangle.  Those parts were all in the loam created over tthe last probably couple hundred years, the cement or glue had deteriorated that held the mosaic together.  I managed to collect all the pieces, the only extra was something that resembles a stone knife which I used to easily cut a steak with before making stew one day.  I managed to pry that top off the main rock too, it was kind of cracked so with some effort I did manage to get it home.  It is a turkey, the way I know that, varified also by some native Americans and a person who works with ancient artifacts, is there is a little ball left over for under the chin.  No more rocks in that loam, and I made sure I did not miss any.  The area where this was found was in an area where there was a creek long ago fed by the spring that came out in that spot around ten feet up from where that artifact was found.

So that gives me the confidence to say I could mosaic corn flakes together to make a chicken, overlapping them to make feathers apparent.

[putnam6]

Read this recently, I'll see if I can find the original 

So drunk MAGA Boomer redneck got thrown out of his usual seedy bar downtown Nashville and he stumbled around into a seedy and dank Lesbian bar tucked away in an ally. He sat down and ordered a shot of Maker's Mark and a Natty Lite from the scowling bartender.

He slammed the shot of whiskey and slurred very loudly "Have you ever heard to the joke about the dumbass blonde chick" and chugged half his beer

The blonde bartender growled  "See that 250 lb blonde lesbian biker over there with her blonde friend she just got out of prison for assault, and in the booth over there, that blonde "chick" is a state champion weight lifter and and her blonde friend is a state champion wrestler, and this blonde lesbian bartender you are talking too is a former Marine and has a 357 magnum pointed at your balls.

So do you really want to tell us your joke about the dumbass blonde chick?"

The drunk stammered weakly "I guess not", as he chugged the rest of the Natty Lite...and hiccupped





"I don't want to have to repeat it 5 times"...

[Oldcarpy2]

Bloke comes home and his blonde girlfriend is running around shouting "5 weeks"!

He asks her why and she answers "I've just finished this jigsaw in five weeks and it says 3 to 5 years on the box..."

[Oldcarpy2]

A blonde is painting her fence white and has some paint left over so she knocks up her neighbour and asks if he wants anything painted.  He says he'll give her 50 to paint his porch.

Hour later she knocks again.

"I've finished it, but it's not a Porsche, it's a Ferrari..."

[ProfessorMeThis]

A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were all lost in the desert. They found a lamp and rubbed it. A genie popped out and granted them each one wish. The redhead wished to be back home. Poof! She was back home. The brunette wished to be at home with her family. Poof! She was back home with her family. The blonde said, "Awwww, I wish my friends were here."

[pianopraze]

Doh, already posted.

deleting.

[PhyloCFly]

So two young blondes working at a McDonald's in San Francisco were having a visit one night and decided to watch TV. Not paying attention to the program thier attention was immediately grabbed by a commercial for Disneyland. ''Oh Disneyland'' cried one to the other, I haven't been there since I was three years old when my parents took me there. How about you?''

Her friend thought a moment, searching her memory and then with a look of curiosity replied,''You know, I"ve NEVER been there. It must be fun. ''

So then and there the two resolved to make a trip to Disneyland and see the place for themselves.

At work, they began taking on extra shifts and  volunteered for any available overtime. They quit going to clubs and movies and visiting restaurants. All their money was saved for the big trip.

They applied for vacation and got two weeks together six months in the future, plenty of time to save all the money they would need.

One month passed and their excitement grew. Two months passed and every time they looked at one another at work, big smiles would cross their faces. Three months turned into four then into five. Two weeks before their vacation the became completely giddy sleeping over at each others pads as their excitement grew.

On the last day of work, they told an other employee about their big vacation. That guy asked them which of the two would be doing all the driving. They replied that they would be sharing the drivers seat . One of the blondes then queried the guy, ''do you know exactly how to get there?'' He replied ''sure, it's easy''.
 "Just go to the freeway and head south to Los Angeles.'' he told them. ''But how will we know when we get there was their reply. He then told them ''Simple, just head south and follow the signs. Disneyland has big road signs along the way telling you how far you have to go, where to turn off and how to get there once you are off the freeway.

The next morning the jumped in their car, intent upon following his instructions to the letter. Sure enough the freeway headed south. After hours of driving they finally saw a sign that told them ''Disneyland, 200 miles''. They cried for joy. A bit later they were freaking out that maybe they had missed a turnoff sign when the saw another sign reading ''Disneyland, 100 miles straight ahead.'' Whoopee they screamed.

The blonde whose job was now navigator watched very carefully for any sign about Disneyland as the signs grew more plentiful.

Disneyland 50 miles
Disneyland 25 miles
Disneyland exit 10 miles
Disneyland next exit.

Their joy was all consuming. As they took the exit they began to worry that now, off the freeway they might get lost, but on they went looking for their next sign and sure enough, there a mile or two later they say a sign that read Disneyland, straight ahead. Uuuuu, they were almost there. Finally they saw a big sign in the distance. As they got nearer and nearer, they could finally read it's instructions. It proclaimed, Disneyland, left.
The two blondes looked  at one another and cried, ah, piss, turned around and drove home.

[Oldcarpy2]

So, a couple touring Wales and Anglesey end up in Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch.

They go for a burger and ask the blond behind the counter "how do you pronounce this place"?

"Duh!  Buuuurrrgerr King".