Welcome to TTI

[David64]

Come on in ! Nice to meet you. Have a seat.

Yeah, I'm the guy you see on the recruiting commercials. I've been a Time Tour Incorporated Tour Guide the longest in the history of the company, almost 5 years. I was active for 4 years and then they decided I'd be better off in the office for my last 12 months because....well..anyway.

Yes ! 5 years and you can retire with a helluva nice pension, free medical and dental for life and that includes mental health too. That one's gonna be very important if you last that long. I see my Therapist 4 times a week and the meds are working just fine.....most of the time.

Average time ? mmm about 6 months. Some a little more or a little less, but they last about 6 months till they either quit or....you know. Death benefits for your family are pretty generous, but we won't worry about that right now, ok ?

The arm ? Spider bite in the Mesozoic. The prosthetic looks almost real though, doesn't it ? and I get an upgrade on the leg as soon as R&D puts the final touches on it. Won't cost me a dime. The leg ? Poison dart in the Amazon 4,000 years ago. Ate the skin and muscle right off. 

 After I got back from that I had 2 idiots try to get a close up of a 40 ft croc in the Cretaceous....I had to go back with the Recovery Team...what ? No, there's no chance of getting the bodies, there's nothing left. We just get blood samples { did you know Humans make a very distinctive crunch/gush sound when they're eaten like that ? } and to make sure there's no cameras getting found by some coal miner in the future. The chances of that are pretty small but we can't be too careful.

Last year there was a guy who just HAD to be first through the Portal and there's sensors that tell us if it's clear to go through, but they were in the fritz that day and as he stepped through, a T Rex bit him in half.
Being first through the Portal is YOUR job. Gotta keep the customers safe, right ?

Let's see....I've seen Marie Antoinette beheaded 22 times.
Joan of Arc burned at the stake once. You wouldn't believe the sounds a Human makes when they're burned alive. I refused to go back.
I lost count of how many witches I've seen drowned or hung.
I've seen Lincoln shot 9 times.
Caesar stabbed to death 12 times
14 settlers  scalped....

Hey ! Where you going ! ? *shrug* Guess he changed his mind. Why do they all run out like that ?

*checks watch* Hey ! Time to take my meds.
1 yellow one, 2 red ones, a green one, 2 white ones and The Blue Ones. Oh Daddy loves his blue ones doesn't he ? Yes he does ! You make the screams in my head go away.

[argentus]

Come on in ! Nice to meet you. Have a seat.

Yeah, I'm the guy you see on the recruiting commercials. I've been a Time Tour Incorporated Tour Guide the longest in the history of the company, almost 5 years. I was active for 4 years and then they decided I'd be better off in the office for my last 12 months because....well..anyway.

Yes ! 5 years and you can retire with a helluva nice pension, free medical and dental for life and that includes mental health too. That one's gonna be very important if you last that long. I see my Therapist 4 times a week and the meds are working just fine.....most of the time.

Average time ? mmm about 6 months. Some a little more or a little less, but they last about 6 months till they either quit or....you know. Death benefits for your family are pretty generous, but we won't worry about that right now, ok ?

The arm ? Spider bite in the Mesozoic. The prosthetic looks almost real though, doesn't it ? and I get an upgrade on the leg as soon as R&D puts the final touches on it. Won't cost me a dime. The leg ? Poison dart in the Amazon 4,000 years ago. Ate the skin and muscle right off. 

 After I got back from that I had 2 idiots try to get a close up of a 40 ft croc in the Cretaceous....I had to go back with the Recovery Team...what ? No, there's no chance of getting the bodies, there's nothing left. We just get blood samples { did you know Humans make a very distinctive crunch/gush sound when they're eaten like that ? } and to make sure there's no cameras getting found by some coal miner in the future. The chances of that are pretty small but we can't be too careful.

Last year there was a guy who just HAD to be first through the Portal and there's sensors that tell us if it's clear to go through, but they were in the fritz that day and as he stepped through, a T Rex bit him in half.
Being first through the Portal is YOUR job. Gotta keep the customers safe, right ?

Let's see....I've seen Marie Antoinette beheaded 22 times.
Joan of Arc burned at the stake once. You wouldn't believe the sounds a Human makes when they're burned alive. I refused to go back.
I lost count of how many witches I've seen drowned or hung.
I've seen Lincoln shot 9 times.
Caesar stabbed to death 12 times
14 settlers  scalped....

Hey ! Where you going ! ? *shrug* Guess he changed his mind. Why do they all run out like that ?

*checks watch* Hey ! Time to take my meds and see my Therapist.

Excellent story.   I really enjoyed that and the immersive way in which you told the tale.  Sometimes the key is in not describing things too much, but tell it conversationally (imo) and you do this wonderfully.