12-14-2023, 04:13 PM
This post was last modified 12-14-2023, 04:15 PM by NoRegretsEver.
Edit Reason: some mispelling, sure I missed more.
This is a topic from the heart, so please bare with me. I lost my husband of 8 years six months ago to stage 4 colon cancer. We had no idea he had cancer, but he was sick, and we thought it was everything but that. His first doctor's visit we were told that if he didn't start Chemo immediately, he would be put on hospice that day. So, of course we agreed that Chemo was his best option and the doctor's seemed to give us hope that though he couldn't be cured his life can be extended.
His first few rounds of Chemo were devastating, but after a few months his numbers seemed to go down or at the least the growth process was still... for the moment. We finally thought that there really was a way for him to live longer, even though he was told 5 years would be his limit, but that it seemed possible.
After about 6 months, his numbers were fluctuating, and we weren't sure what to do. His medication for pain was elevated, but it wasn't to much. About 8-10 months later, he lost his voice, and Chemo was again starting to take a toll, he lost about 60 lbs, he was about 280, and we could really start to see a decline.
Let's jump a bit more, as to not make this to long, and go to the point of why I am making this thread. After about a year and a half in, he was told that the Chemo was no longer working and they gave him 2 more rounds, with 2 types of Chemo, now he had lost about 100 lbs, and about 2 months he was told nothing was working anymore, and he had to go into hospice. At this point he was on about 20 medications including, oxy, morphine (pill), liquid morphine and fentanyl. He no longer ate, only drank Ensure, and slept 80% of the time.
He passed away June 2, and it was a slow agonizing death, he weighed about 120 lbs, and he passed in the hospital, I was right by his side. Now here is the issue I have been having since he passed.
Did we make a mistake in starting Chemo? He would have had months to live, but he wouldn't have died the way that he did. Being a part of this community, we discuss so many things, but knowing Big Pharma is b.s., knowing that people can and are used a guinea pigs, knowing that there are far to many thoughts about death, and what happens afterwards, possibly of course.
He was not a part of what I have come to love about research, so he didn't really know what was going through my head, while watching what he wanted and being torn about what I have learned. I wasn't going to bombard him with info concerning my real thoughts on this, especially because he was also religious, and I am agnostic, what was I supposed to say.
So I will end with this. Knowing what many of us know, even if not believed but are aware of, would your choice if you didn't have one, be directed by what you have learned, shared, and been informed of if the time came? I never really considered it myself, and have written a living will, but many of my choices will I am sure be swayed by what I have learned over the years, and be misunderstood by those who don't subscribe to my thoughts and research.
Thank you for taking the time to read this. I thought maybe by asking those in our community their thoughts, that I in fact may see things in a different light.
Peace, NRE
His first few rounds of Chemo were devastating, but after a few months his numbers seemed to go down or at the least the growth process was still... for the moment. We finally thought that there really was a way for him to live longer, even though he was told 5 years would be his limit, but that it seemed possible.
After about 6 months, his numbers were fluctuating, and we weren't sure what to do. His medication for pain was elevated, but it wasn't to much. About 8-10 months later, he lost his voice, and Chemo was again starting to take a toll, he lost about 60 lbs, he was about 280, and we could really start to see a decline.
Let's jump a bit more, as to not make this to long, and go to the point of why I am making this thread. After about a year and a half in, he was told that the Chemo was no longer working and they gave him 2 more rounds, with 2 types of Chemo, now he had lost about 100 lbs, and about 2 months he was told nothing was working anymore, and he had to go into hospice. At this point he was on about 20 medications including, oxy, morphine (pill), liquid morphine and fentanyl. He no longer ate, only drank Ensure, and slept 80% of the time.
He passed away June 2, and it was a slow agonizing death, he weighed about 120 lbs, and he passed in the hospital, I was right by his side. Now here is the issue I have been having since he passed.
Did we make a mistake in starting Chemo? He would have had months to live, but he wouldn't have died the way that he did. Being a part of this community, we discuss so many things, but knowing Big Pharma is b.s., knowing that people can and are used a guinea pigs, knowing that there are far to many thoughts about death, and what happens afterwards, possibly of course.
He was not a part of what I have come to love about research, so he didn't really know what was going through my head, while watching what he wanted and being torn about what I have learned. I wasn't going to bombard him with info concerning my real thoughts on this, especially because he was also religious, and I am agnostic, what was I supposed to say.
So I will end with this. Knowing what many of us know, even if not believed but are aware of, would your choice if you didn't have one, be directed by what you have learned, shared, and been informed of if the time came? I never really considered it myself, and have written a living will, but many of my choices will I am sure be swayed by what I have learned over the years, and be misunderstood by those who don't subscribe to my thoughts and research.
Thank you for taking the time to read this. I thought maybe by asking those in our community their thoughts, that I in fact may see things in a different light.
Peace, NRE
