05-13-2024, 01:28 AM
This post was last modified 05-13-2024, 01:30 AM by FlickerOfLight.
I couldn't find a spiritual forum, but this will do.
This is a spiritual enlightenment.
I have been on my own spiritual journey for quite some time. Truth be told, I've been on this journey my entire life; only just now coming to realize it. It has been like falling asleep; slowly at first, and then all at once.
The deep spiritual awakening started in January of 2018. At first it was pure bliss, peace and joy like I've never known. Insight after insight. It was if psychic abilities started to awaken within me. I started to learn to control my environment. I was learning how giving my energy to people can affect them depending on the energy given to them. If i was charged up with a powerful energy of peace, every person around me was affected, and they too would rest in that peace. All these experiences were so wonderful and inspiring. I walked around on cloud nine, in total peace love and joy. I was spreading this around, and sharing these things with anyone and everyone. It was nirvana.
As things progressed I started to pass along wisdom I was learning and growing in. I'm a born teacher and so I began to teach. It was always those who were down on their luck, or lost in their journey, or just needed to feel loved and important. I had many people who came to me for a comforting word, or insight into themselves or their lives and paths. Many people came to me and were blessed by the very things that were blessing me. This too was nirvana.
As time went on a bit, and as I was seeing deeper into the truth, more and more lies were coming into the light. The curtain was being drawn back even further. I started to see the true wickedness of the world. The depravity of spirit in the world. The lack of compassion and love was becoming abundantly clear to me. My time of teaching was coming to an end. I started to see that people didn't like the truth. The more truth I spoke the more I was starting to be cast aside. Slowly at first, and then all at once. I found myself alone. The joy and peace were wavering as I became distraught by the lack of love in the human heart. I started to realize that it was not enlightenment people were looking for.
Isolation came...
As I sat alone I started to dive deep into meditation. I started exploring deeper into my mind. I was in depression now. The darkest deepest depression I had ever known. I wept for the world....and myself. I saw the darkest parts of my mind. The evil within me. The dark shadow of my mind and my soul. I hated what I saw. I saw myself for who I truly am, down to the darkest parts of myself. I found out I was angry. Fiercely angry at the injustices of this world. I was furious at all the suffering and pain. I was angry at people for their lack of love and compassion for one another. I had relived every pain I had ever felt. I had fallen into the darkest place I had ever been. As this was at its darkest, taking my own life came to mind. It was all too much. I felt I couldn't do anything to help or stop or change any of this. I had reached this realization, and I didn't like the world I was seeing....nor did I want to be a part of it anymore. I didn't like the evil that was inside of myself. I had hurt people even without the desire to hurt anyone. I wrestled with these thoughts for months.
And then the dawn came. Like watching the sky start to turn as the sun starts to bring light back to the sky after a long dark night.
I am in the dawn at the moment. Just before the sun comes up.
I am glad to see the Light again. I can't wait to see what this New Day brings...
This is a spiritual enlightenment.
I have been on my own spiritual journey for quite some time. Truth be told, I've been on this journey my entire life; only just now coming to realize it. It has been like falling asleep; slowly at first, and then all at once.
The deep spiritual awakening started in January of 2018. At first it was pure bliss, peace and joy like I've never known. Insight after insight. It was if psychic abilities started to awaken within me. I started to learn to control my environment. I was learning how giving my energy to people can affect them depending on the energy given to them. If i was charged up with a powerful energy of peace, every person around me was affected, and they too would rest in that peace. All these experiences were so wonderful and inspiring. I walked around on cloud nine, in total peace love and joy. I was spreading this around, and sharing these things with anyone and everyone. It was nirvana.
As things progressed I started to pass along wisdom I was learning and growing in. I'm a born teacher and so I began to teach. It was always those who were down on their luck, or lost in their journey, or just needed to feel loved and important. I had many people who came to me for a comforting word, or insight into themselves or their lives and paths. Many people came to me and were blessed by the very things that were blessing me. This too was nirvana.
As time went on a bit, and as I was seeing deeper into the truth, more and more lies were coming into the light. The curtain was being drawn back even further. I started to see the true wickedness of the world. The depravity of spirit in the world. The lack of compassion and love was becoming abundantly clear to me. My time of teaching was coming to an end. I started to see that people didn't like the truth. The more truth I spoke the more I was starting to be cast aside. Slowly at first, and then all at once. I found myself alone. The joy and peace were wavering as I became distraught by the lack of love in the human heart. I started to realize that it was not enlightenment people were looking for.
Isolation came...
As I sat alone I started to dive deep into meditation. I started exploring deeper into my mind. I was in depression now. The darkest deepest depression I had ever known. I wept for the world....and myself. I saw the darkest parts of my mind. The evil within me. The dark shadow of my mind and my soul. I hated what I saw. I saw myself for who I truly am, down to the darkest parts of myself. I found out I was angry. Fiercely angry at the injustices of this world. I was furious at all the suffering and pain. I was angry at people for their lack of love and compassion for one another. I had relived every pain I had ever felt. I had fallen into the darkest place I had ever been. As this was at its darkest, taking my own life came to mind. It was all too much. I felt I couldn't do anything to help or stop or change any of this. I had reached this realization, and I didn't like the world I was seeing....nor did I want to be a part of it anymore. I didn't like the evil that was inside of myself. I had hurt people even without the desire to hurt anyone. I wrestled with these thoughts for months.
And then the dawn came. Like watching the sky start to turn as the sun starts to bring light back to the sky after a long dark night.
I am in the dawn at the moment. Just before the sun comes up.
I am glad to see the Light again. I can't wait to see what this New Day brings...
