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+--- Thread: New Dawn (/Thread-New-Dawn)
New Dawn - xpert11 - 10-07-2024
Below is my first attempt at poetry:
The candle stands by the shattering window.
Broken glass rains on the once-green hills.
Yet the flame shines to the new day.
But the eternal flame is lost in the dead forest.
The candle is drawn to the yellow flicking light.
But the darkness hides the way to the new dawn.
So, the candle trusts the sailboat to the ocean's breeze.
Underneath a palm tree on white sand by the waves crashing on the shore, the souls are united by a candle's wick alight.
The new moon and dark skies are gone, for the new day arrives.
RE: New Dawn - UltraBudgie - 10-07-2024
Thank you for that I like the image of the candle's journey in the old boat quiet and lonely in the shattered window also it was very nice of the moon to stay up to see in the dawn!
RE: New Dawn - Encia22 - 10-07-2024
That’s great for your first poem, xpert11!
I’ve never been an advocate of poems having to follow strict rules, metrics, etc.; in fact, the more freestyle it is, the more it feels natural and born of emotions. It’s not the chosen words that move the reader, but rather the whole ensemble.
Your poem is melancholic and thought provoking, yet harbours hope.
![[Image: ats2495_hail.gif]](https://denyignorance.com/images/ogemojis2/ats2495_hail.gif)
RE: New Dawn - Quantum12 - 10-07-2024
[quote="xpert11" pid='15441' dateline='1728282860']
Below is my first attempt at poetry:
Nice!!! I really like the image in my head of your art! (poem)
RE: New Dawn - CCoburn - 10-08-2024
Welcome to the DI poetry club xpert11.
Your first writing here within this creative context has more structure than mine initially.
An Analogous Anecdote
My first visit to a writing forum back around 2021, and everything was a wrap for me – a word wrap. One of the seasoned 'poets' raised holy hell about it, literally, and even though I began restructuring my content more at that point, they then became monstrously malignant over my metaphysical musings, but mostly of a passive aggressive manner to avoid moderator mediation. It was synonymous with stalking I'd say until I eventually became satiated and went soloing.
I've never really cared for the "poet" terminology much as for me it appears to harbor some vague undesirable connotations, but as implied by this vacant virtue of "vagueness", not so much an extreme that would prevent relegation to the negligible.
RE: New Dawn - xpert11 - 10-08-2024
(10-08-2024, 12:10 AM)CCoburn Wrote: Welcome to the DI poetry club xpert11.
My thanks go to everyone who gave kind feedback on my first poem.
Your first writing here within this creative context has more structure than mine initially.
Suffice to say, that without that structure, my work would have been an unholy mess. However, other writers don't face that issue.
