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+--- Thread: Sailboat of Time (/Thread-Sailboat-of-Time)
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Sailboat of Time - Quantum12 - 09-20-2024
Her time on the ocean was consistent,
His life facing destiny oddly persistent,
She always found his mistakes at night,
He was always searching for a fight,
The waters always kept her calm,
He lost himself yelling on the intercom,
Manic was her mood on the run,
Panic his thoughts, he was done,
As time sailed away she dearfully missed him…
RE: Sailboat of Time - UltraBudgie - 09-20-2024
I like how you moved the rhyme to the front of the line
RE: Sailboat of Time - Quantum12 - 09-20-2024
(09-20-2024, 04:21 PM)UltraBudgie Wrote: I like how you moved the rhyme to the front of the line
Thank you! After she killed him her rhyme was number 1!
RE: Sailboat of Time - CCoburn - 09-20-2024
(09-20-2024, 04:21 PM)UltraBudgie Wrote: I like how you moved the rhyme to the front of the line
More like added it. Both S2 and S4 employ this technique. I don't recall ever doing this myself or seeing it elsewhere. It's a fairly effective technique if you can do it without sacrificing quality of content in the process; I'd say they were successful in accomplishing that.
RE: Sailboat of Time - Quantum12 - 09-20-2024
(09-20-2024, 06:37 PM)CCoburn Wrote: More like added it. Both S2 and S4 employ this technique. I don't recall ever doing this myself or seeing it elsewhere. It's a fairly effective technique if you can do it without sacrificing quality of content in the process; I'd say they were successful in accomplishing that.
It was not supposed to be noticed. You two picked it up right away!
RE: Sailboat of Time - midicon - 09-21-2024
(09-20-2024, 03:19 PM)Quantum12 Wrote: Her time on the ocean was consistent,
His life facing destiny oddly persistent,
She always found his mistakes at night,
He was always searching for a fight,
The waters always kept her calm,
He lost himself yelling on the intercom,
Manic was her mood on the run,
Panic his thoughts, he was done,
As time sailed away she dearfully missed him…
Love that Quantum!
RE: Sailboat of Time - Quantum12 - 09-21-2024
(09-21-2024, 02:15 AM)midicon Wrote: Love that Quantum!
Thank you kindly. It’s a true story. My friends mom took her husband sailing in the Caribbean. I was 16. The husband never returned. He was cheating on his wife.
He never knew that she knew. She murdered him on a sailboat in the middle of the ocean and dumped his body.
When she returned to land her guilt got her. She missed her husband and turned herself in!
RE: Sailboat of Time - midicon - 09-21-2024
(09-21-2024, 06:59 AM)Quantum12 Wrote: Thank you kindly. It’s a true story. My friends mom took her husband sailing in the Caribbean. I was 16. The husband never returned. He was cheating on his wife.
He never knew that she knew. She murdered him on a sailboat in the middle of the ocean and dumped his body.
When she returned to land her guilt got her. She missed her husband and turned herself in!
What a tragic story Quantum.
I was trying to fickle out the meaning with philosophy or psychology in mind!
Your' friend lost both parents.
RE: Sailboat of Time - CCoburn - 09-21-2024
(09-21-2024, 06:59 AM)Quantum12 Wrote: Thank you kindly. It’s a true story.
I think probably 90% of the stuff I write (all genres) is nonfiction. Some of the existential stuff is really bizarre and fantastical, but that doesn't mean it isn't true.
It's easier and faster for me to write something based on real events, but occasionally I will write something that is totally made up.
I may also add minor embellishments to works that are based on true events.
RE: Sailboat of Time - Quantum12 - 09-21-2024
(09-21-2024, 07:08 AM)midicon Wrote: What a tragic story Quantum.
I was trying to fickle out the meaning with philosophy or psychology in mind!
Your' friend lost both parents.
Yep lost her dad and her mom went to prison. Sad. The moral is to never cheat on you wife!
(09-21-2024, 07:38 AM)CCoburn Wrote: I think probably 90% of the stuff I write (all genres) is nonfiction. Some of the existential stuff is really bizarre and fantastical, but that doesn't mean it isn't true.
It's easier and faster for me to write something based on real events, but occasionally I will write something that is totally made up.
I may also add minor embellishments to works that are based on true events.
Your writing makes people really think! Amazing! I add bits of real life stories to writings. Same!
(09-21-2024, 07:38 AM)CCoburn Wrote: I think probably 90% of the stuff I write (all genres) is nonfiction. Some of the existential stuff is really bizarre and fantastical, but that doesn't mean it isn't true.
It's easier and faster for me to write something based on real events, but occasionally I will write something that is totally made up.
I may also add minor embellishments to works that are based on true events.
You me and midicon should write a collaborative writing story. He is a deep writer.
