07-18-2025, 07:06 AM
My wife and I were talking to some friends last night and something came up that happened years ago.
My wife had a bad habit of leaving lights on in every room of the house. Didn't matter if it was noon on a sunny day, she turned the light on and walked out leaving it on. It wasn't just one room, the whole damn house would be lit up. You could tell which rooms she had been in just by the light being on.
Living room - check
Bathroom - check
Hallway - check.
Kitchen - check
Laundry room - you get the idea.
This was not just a few minutes or even a couple of hours, those lights Would Stay On till I turned them off.
I would walk through the house, grinding my teeth and turning lights off. I would sometimes NOT go around turning them off and showed her the difference in electric bills from month to month. I had tried asking. I had tried bitching. I hatched a plan.
Did the plan involve me being a complete asshole ?
Yes. Yes it did.
I smoke. My wife hates me smoking in the house. I usually just go out on the front porch, sit in the swing and have my cigarette.
Next time I walked through the house and lights were on, did I light a cigarette in the house ? Nope.
I sat down in the living room and Lit A Cigar. I calmly puffed on it { making sure to create clouds of smoke } while I waited for the smell to waft through the house and get her attention....which did not take long. She came rushing into the room and ask "What are you doing ? You know I hate that"
Me : "Turn the lights off"
Her : "TAKE THAT OUTSIDE ! "
Me : { still calmly puffing } "Turn the lights off " { This went on for a while }
Now for the Pièce de résistance .....I casually held out the cigar and flicked ashes in the floor. { we have hardwood floors so I didn't burn anything }
You can imagine how that escalated things.
She finally went around the house and turned the lights off and I went outside to finish my cigar. We didn't speak for the rest of the day.
Did I just do this once ? Aw hell no. Every time she left a light on in a room, I sat down in the living room and lit a cigarette.
My electric bills are almost half what they used to be.
I am not above being an asshole to get my point across.
My wife had a bad habit of leaving lights on in every room of the house. Didn't matter if it was noon on a sunny day, she turned the light on and walked out leaving it on. It wasn't just one room, the whole damn house would be lit up. You could tell which rooms she had been in just by the light being on.
Living room - check
Bathroom - check
Hallway - check.
Kitchen - check
Laundry room - you get the idea.
This was not just a few minutes or even a couple of hours, those lights Would Stay On till I turned them off.
I would walk through the house, grinding my teeth and turning lights off. I would sometimes NOT go around turning them off and showed her the difference in electric bills from month to month. I had tried asking. I had tried bitching. I hatched a plan.
Did the plan involve me being a complete asshole ?
Yes. Yes it did.
I smoke. My wife hates me smoking in the house. I usually just go out on the front porch, sit in the swing and have my cigarette.
Next time I walked through the house and lights were on, did I light a cigarette in the house ? Nope.
I sat down in the living room and Lit A Cigar. I calmly puffed on it { making sure to create clouds of smoke } while I waited for the smell to waft through the house and get her attention....which did not take long. She came rushing into the room and ask "What are you doing ? You know I hate that"
Me : "Turn the lights off"
Her : "TAKE THAT OUTSIDE ! "
Me : { still calmly puffing } "Turn the lights off " { This went on for a while }
Now for the Pièce de résistance .....I casually held out the cigar and flicked ashes in the floor. { we have hardwood floors so I didn't burn anything }
You can imagine how that escalated things.
She finally went around the house and turned the lights off and I went outside to finish my cigar. We didn't speak for the rest of the day.
Did I just do this once ? Aw hell no. Every time she left a light on in a room, I sat down in the living room and lit a cigarette.
My electric bills are almost half what they used to be.
I am not above being an asshole to get my point across.
