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I took a nap with my little kittie,
After waking up I took such pity,
Over here and there, a flip and flop,
Omg I woke up to a mop,
It flipped all over the place,
I prayed he would win this race,
I went back to sleep not making a peep,
When I woke up he won and didn’t cheat…
Next photo
Be kind to everyone!
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11-23-2024, 11:51 AM
This post was last modified 11-23-2024, 01:58 PM by IdeomotorPrisoner. 
Keanu Kamakawiwo'ole Kauhane Kaʻanāʻanā, which translates to english as "a cool ocean breeze, a fearless eye in the spirit of black magic," was a surfer from Kaunakakai along the Kalohi Channel between The Kakahaia Nature Preserve and Kualapuu.
One day, as he was surfing, he heard the voice of Madame Pele tell him, "You must make a pilgrimage to the island of Maui and bathe in the Sacred Pool of Puohokamoa. Further instructions await."
The next day, he packed his ukulele and beer and started the journey. He had to get from Maloka'i to Maui across the Pailolo Channel. When he could drive no further, he parked his truck. At this point, he remembered all Hawaiian people could fly when on mystical quests. He flapped his arms, took flight, and crossed the Channel like a now graceful linebacker.
When he reached Maui, his arms were far too tired to fly anymore. So he decided to rent the funniest and smallest mini bike possible for the rest of the trip.
An hour later, he was there. He proceeded down to the sacred pool.
The voice of Pele spoke again, "You will now battle Kanaloa on Red Hill upon Mt. Haleakala and return to Waihee-Waiehu with an ahi and mahi mahi."
He wasn't one to question Madame Pele, for she bestowed all Hawaiians the ability to fly when on magical journeys. He proceeded to the next phase. . .
next photo and lazy ending to story I lost interest in looking up Hawaiian things for.
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I don’t know why my I was born with three fingers, cocked eyes a bump back and a pointed up nose.
First of all I can smell everything that crosses my silly path. Before I see I can smell. The only friend I have is the Venice Beach clown. We are both kinda stuck up. He’s in the air and my nose is everywhere.
I went to eat at Two Hand Franks in Santa Monica. They saw my hands and fed me a nub. They called me rub a dub nub with a stub. Their dogs are so long in that pub.
I saw double with my cocked eyes, staring at the prize was a pair of thighs. Her husband beat me all in time I never noticed she was wearing a ring.
This has been a really bad day, I should now go to the church to pray…
Next photo Venice Beach Clown
Be kind to everyone!
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They stuck me here in 1988,
I had a motor to kick my leg.
They shut me down in 1990,
I am back kicking from 1pm-6pm.
All day long I watch the crazy people here,
Behind my eyes is a special camera.
I really want off this building,
My dream is to walk to you.
But after all I am just the Venice Beach Clown...
Next photo
Be kind to everyone!
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the flloatly lady who lived backward in time look down oh no im living she thought the men in blue theyre going to merge me back into that shell and melt me together with a knife and then i will bounce a car off me and then ungo to work every day for years and years undoing all these achievements and vomit food every day then i will begin to shrink shrink and forget everything ive learned by inscribing it in books with my eyes then i will squirt milk into mommy and swallow drool and get tinier and tinier and be absorbed back into humans oh no not this again
"I cannot give you what you deny yourself. Look for solutions from within." - Kai Opaka
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In 2028 Elon flew to Mars with his 50,000 starlink satellites. He was thinking about big profits.
Each starlink was filled with bossiness he could open on Mars. He decided to send 10,000 of the richest earth people to mars via heavy rocket 117.
On his journey to Mars he set up rocket space stations which sold moon rocks candy and special Elon branded candy bars.
He pissed off all the underground martians before humans junked up mars by opening every junk store you could think of but not Dollar General. Years went by and he covered the Red planet with battery acid and garbage.
Soon he had so much junk he started sending it back to earth. His next stop is Venus. He moved all the Martians there beaucuse they were clean and lived below ground.
Next photo.
Be kind to everyone!
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by the year 2300 disneyworld had lived up to their name. the world such as it was anyway was now disney. from westworld to futureland the world of tomorrow became the world of today, then the world of the past. the monorail no longer ran from the parking lot to the park, because the whole world was now the parking lot and the park. instead it wove through farmland and cityscape. no one lived on earth any more. everything they had to walk or commute for was now inside their heads all the time anyway. instead they visited as tourists, to pretend to live as the ancients did. bail hay and fill a barn. hoe a row of crops. step in dogpoop on the sidewalk and learn to curse. be screamed at by marooned pimps while dodging traffic. it was all great fun. no one remembered who elon musk was. he became like that quaker oats guy on the oatmeal box, except for the hat.
nexxt photo:
"I cannot give you what you deny yourself. Look for solutions from within." - Kai Opaka
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11-25-2024, 11:28 AM
This post was last modified 11-25-2024, 11:30 AM by Maxmars.
Edit Reason: formatting
 
Kismet, synchronicity, fate, destiny, coincidence.
How do all the factors of reality suddenly line up... as if by design?
Leo, looked at the stack of folded papers, all automatically processed, the edge of each repeating the same phrase over and over...
"This is not a coincidence," he smiled...
Tom approached Leo, scanned the stack, and felt the same 'reality' impinging on his mind...
Tom smiled too... as the refrain meshed with his mind...
" Of course it isn't! Of course it isn't! Of course it isn't! Of course it isn't!"
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Yesterday, 09:01 AM
This post was last modified Yesterday, 10:02 AM by quintessentone.
Edit Reason: Still figuring out how to deal with picture inserts
 
(11-25-2024, 11:28 AM)Maxmars Wrote: [Image: https://imgs.search.brave.com/yQap1tvTVq...JhbC5q/cGc]
"Of course it isn't! Of course it isn't! Of course it isn't! Of course it isn't!"
Great writings people! I am making a large pot of yellow split pea, ham and veggie soup so I have to babysit it and so this gives me time to join in to this wonderful thread.
-------------------
As Jennifer, the school secretary, poured over the day's attendance numbers list for that dreaded real fire alarm, a student entered her office and told her that someone had drawn a bad picture on the outside brick wall of the school playground.
Jennifer asked the student to show her where it was and so they both walked together down the long deserted hallway out to the back playground where she saw a four foot accurately drawn rendition of an erect penis. She then asked the student who she thought did it and the little girl pointed to a group of three boys who were standing close by and who were watching and laughing at us.
Jennifer returned to her office to track down the janitor so he could wash it off, but to no avail as it was his lunchtime and he was nowhere to be found. So she took it upon herself to wash off the chalk drawing herself, she thought to herself "it's chalk, it will be easy to clean off". Unfortunately, there were no rags to be found so she dampened paper towels with a little soap, headed to the playground then proceeded to wipe. The paper towels started to quickly disintegrate under the pressure of wiping on the jagged brick, so she had to strategically pick areas of the drawing to wipe away to brake it up so it could not be identified, but the paper towels disappeared and so she returned to her office to leave a voicemail to the janitor explaining that the offending phallic symbol was still mostly identifiable on the wall and needed to be deep cleaned.
After Jennifer discussed the matter with other staff members it was agreed upon that volunteer staff and parents would paint artwork on the playground cement to not only distract students attention to more appropriate artistic renditions that may invoke age-related games and play, but by painting circles and shafts those shapes may appease those whose immature developing psychosexual minds which were stuck in that place.
(Half of a true story. I am not sure if I remember how to upload a picture, but here goes. It is AI generated.)
https://denyignorance.com/uploader/image...ietime.jpg
hippietime
Finally figured it out! (Note: What a freaky coincidence as that male hippie looks exactly like the guy I used to toke with in high school)
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Yesterday, 10:53 AM
This post was last modified Yesterday, 11:04 AM by Quantum12. 
Your story is excellent!
Adam and Eve were in the garden of Eden’s wisdom. Adam said to Eve “before we create many babies and start the world let’s try this funny looking plant.”
Eve asked Adam “where did you get this beautiful plant?”
Adam replied “in the forbidden garden.”
Adam went into the future and borrowed rolling papers from Mel Brooks (history of the world part 1)
He got Eve high as hell.
G-D came down with a roar and took away Adam’s Apple and replaced it. G-D said “Adam I forbid you to enter the land of pot, my brother the serpent is growing that shit to sell.”
Adam did not care at all because he was high as hell.
Back in the garden G-D punished Adam and sent in 20 Adam twins and forbid the real Adam from touching Eve.
Adam adopted to his blue balls.
Eve and her 20 guys created the world.
Thanks to Adam men don’t have the Adam’s Apple but now have blue balls, unlimited pot and mucho hippies.
Be kind to everyone!
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