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Crafting your own personality
#11
how can ego change ego? only by getting out of its own way

thus weakness is opportunity for transmutation

craft personality? find worst weakness, bang head against it, give up, repeat

diving into hell requires tremendous faith in updrafts. a bit extreme, that
#12
(07-01-2025, 07:03 AM)Sirius Wrote: I was telling a friend recently divination is impossible, it's just death all the time. Maybe the trick is just to go straight to hell

When all the Demons who inhabit the dark crevices of a soul are given a little pink ballerina "tu-tu" to wear, they cannot hurt again.... unless the lights flicker and go out in rage. Facing them one by one is the tricky bit, and that place called Hell is the only meeting place me thinks.

Better the Devil you know begins inside, and once that relationship is clear, things are brought into the light and clarity is fortitude and control.

And Divination takes Understanding, Acceptance and Faith in absolute Personal Truth, no lies, no maybes, just cold hard facts. Scary for most, impossible for many, confusing for some and liberating for few.

Some people who are dragged "down there" never get to come back, and we should miss them when they leave and kick ourselves because we couldn't help them before they lost their final grip in this world. It is a familiarity that helps us empathise with those around who we CAN help while the chance still exists.

And oh that light!..., yes, perhaps why I Love so much colour in my artwork and my dreams flow into a walking pallete. My day today started as it often does, with a song stuck in my head.

"We Are The Champions" by Queen... lol  Freddie has been wielding swords for me since I was a kid.

Not a "horrid thread" my friend. A powerful one where there is great contrast and vision. Thumbup

(ps...post 666)

Wisdom knocks quietly, always listen carefully.... and be a River flowing calmly.
#13
"The enduring configuration of characteristics and behavior that comprises an individual’s unique adjustment to life, including major traits, interests, drives, values, self-concept, abilities, and emotional patterns.
 Personality is generally viewed as a complex, dynamic integration or totality shaped by many forces, including hereditary and constitutional tendencies; physical maturation; early training; identification with significant individuals and groups; culturally conditioned values and roles; and critical experiences and relationships."

Personality

Self Determination Theory -

(Me: I was raised by adults who used the reinforcement theory: behaviour is driven by its consequences - generally nothing was explained or corrected in such a way as to put a child on any other path - this, I believe, helped me become a 'questioning everything' personality which, I believe, helped me greatly in finding out the truth for myself)

"SDT describes factors that help or hinder human motivation, including both internal motivation and external influences. At the core of Ryan and Deci’s theory was the concept that self-directed motivation and personal growth rely on three psychological needs: autonomy, competence, and relatedness.
 
When those needs are met, the research showed, people tend to be more self- motivated, feel more satisfied, and experience greater well-being. By contrast, when people are motivated to act because of external pressures—or internal pressure to live up to external expectations—they have more trouble staying engaged and feel less fulfilled."

Self-determination theory: A quarter century of human motivation research

"In a study under review for publication, she compared two antiracist messages influenced by SDT—one self-focused and the other focused on empathy for others—with an externally driven message that encouraged antiracism as a way to conform with social norms. Of the three approaches, the SDT message built on interpersonal empathy was most likely to increase awareness of bias, egalitarianism, antiracism, and allophilia (positive feelings for members of a different group). The findings suggest that not all types of internal motivation are created equally."

"The mini theories of SDT
 
SDT has grown to become a meta-theory comprised of six smaller sub-theories.
  1. Cognitive evaluation theory: addresses effects of social contexts and how factors such as rewards, interpersonal controls, and ego-involvements affect intrinsic motivation
  2. Organismic integration theory: addresses different forms of extrinsic motivation and their properties, determinants, and consequences
  3. Causality orientations theory: describes individual differences in the ways people orient toward environments and regulate their behavior
  4. Basic psychological needs theory: elaborates on the concept of evolved psychological needs and their relations to psychological health and well-being
  5. Goal contents theory: grows out of the distinctions between intrinsic and extrinsic goals and their impact on motivation and wellness
  6. Relationships motivation theory: concerns the development and maintenance of relatedness, one of the three basic psychological needs."
So one's chosen paths have many factors at play. Know thyself.

"For Socrates, all knowledge must start with the individual and the cultivation of the rational part of their soul. Only then can one acquire knowledge of the world around them, including objects, things, and other people. Socrates believed that knowing oneself was the first step towards wisdom, and that it required courage to persevere, acknowledge failure, and live with the knowledge of one’s own ignorance.
Socrates also believed that knowing oneself meant recognizing one’s true nature as an immortal soul. He argued for the immortality of the soul in his Phaedo dialogue and believed that by knowing oneself as an immortal soul, one could live in accordance with their true nature and make decisions that align with their highest good."

What Is "Know Thyself" By Socrates? A Comprehensive Overview - DeepThinkers

"Additionally, emotions can cloud our judgment and make it difficult to see ourselves objectively. Fear, anxiety, and other negative emotions can prevent us from confronting our weaknesses and acknowledging our mistakes.
Finally, achieving self-knowledge requires a willingness to be introspective and reflective. It takes effort and courage to examine oneself honestly, and many people may avoid doing so out of fear or discomfort.
 
Despite these challenges, achieving self-knowledge is possible with practice and dedication. By being honest with ourselves, seeking feedback from others, and engaging in introspection, we can gain a deeper understanding of ourselves and live more fulfilling lives."

Yeah, so, a lot going on there on all those paths, which for some may take a life time to navigate and find self-knowledge.
"The only journey is the one within."
#14
If you grow up with emotionally, immature, manipulative people — you have to learn not to play their game. 

Plant your feet solid on the ground — learn who you are — know who you are.
#15
(07-01-2025, 10:25 AM)ANNEE Wrote: If you grow up with emotionally, immature, manipulative people — you have to learn not to play their game. 

Plant your feet solid on the ground — learn who you are — know who you are.

take every opportunity for "shocking" honesty

it's only shocking to those who have crafted themselves on assumptions of dishonesty

at some point that is no longer a sufficient foundation

and it's not your fault that is so
#16
(07-01-2025, 10:25 AM)ANNEE Wrote: If you grow up with emotionally, immature, manipulative people — you have to learn not to play their game. 

Plant your feet solid on the ground — learn who you are — know who you are.


Yes, even informing those toxic people/family members of new boundaries that you are implementing into the relationship, upsets the rotten apple cart, but it's good trouble if you want to keep them in your life.

This is a path you don't have to walk alone. I have my intuitive daughter to use as a sounding board and it does my heart good to know she sees the problems and solutions as I do and she has never studied psychology or any type of human/social behaviour science. Some times the path is clear and we should not overthink or question it.

I prefer to explain why my boundaries are now in place in an attempt to help them understand that there is a problem and if the relationship is to continue, they need to educate themselves, or self-reflect, on what 'fixes' are needed to continue.

So far, it's working for me with one family member, and so-so with another family member. In so doing, so I too am learning what I am doing wrong with their personalities and to not ignore their inner traumas. I could just as easily sever all contact with them, but I feel they are worth the good fight.

"This doesn’t excuse their behavior at all. But reframing it helped me see that their toxicity was a them problem, not a me problem. And that made it easier to step back without feeling responsible for “fixing” them."

11 Tips for Letting Go of Toxic People (Without the Guilt Trip) - Soberish

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"The only journey is the one within."
#17
(07-01-2025, 10:42 AM)UltraBudgie Wrote: take every opportunity for "shocking" honesty

it's only shocking to those who have crafted themselves on assumptions of dishonesty

at some point that is no longer a sufficient foundation

and it's not your fault that is so


Years in the making.

Does not necessarily reflect social behavior with or around others.  We are social animals. 

But it boils down to “you are you” and only you are responsible for who that is. 

Took me years to understand I am responsible for me. And emotions are internal not external.