Ladies! Or men I guess........what is too big of an age gap in relationship?

[Shoshanna]

What is too big of an age difference in a relationship? So this GUY I know I asked me out like immediately after people found out I was divorcing and I laughed and laughed and said I'm about 50 years too old for you dude. He didn't really give up he's kind of been like creepily going places I go and whatever it's kind of endearing honestly.

Who goes to the library? Me. Very few other people AND this guy once he found out I go to the library 24/7 365 when I'm not working or doing something else. Funny to bump into someone there constantly.

He's 26 and I'm 37. He keeps randomly bringing me coffees when he drops his brother off for GED study help and popping up everywhere. I don't know if he's stalking me to be honest but I don't think so.

This guy is unreasonably attractive too and so I think that is making me suspicious also like....what?!?

Anyways I think it's a no from me because of the 11 year age difference but I wanted opinions especially from the ladies.

Also I want to add into the equation that my ex is in another relationship now with a girl way younger I would say she's probably 23 or 24 and he is 40 but I feel like men get high fives when they do this stuff but when the role is reversed and a woman is with a younger guy it's almost looked at like pity like "oh that poor woman" or whatever like there's something somewhat desperate about older woman younger man where it isn't like that when the man is older. I don't want my ex to be making fun of me hehehehehehe.



** Mod. edit -- Encia22 -- Moved to Relationships **

[DontTreadOnMe]

What is too big of an age difference in a relationship? So this GUY I know I asked me out like immediately after people found out I was divorcing and I laughed and laughed and said I'm about 50 years too old for you dude. He didn't really give up he's kind of been like creepily going places I go and whatever it's kind of endearing honestly.

I've dated younger men and I have dated older men.
I prefer the former.

I'd have to say it totally depends on your comfort level.  Do you share or are open to enough of his interests?  And vice versa?  I also think what are considered age differences will continue to diminish as you both age.

[midicon]

What is too big of an age difference in a relationship? So this GUY I know I asked me out like immediately after people found out I was divorcing and I laughed and laughed and said I'm about 50 years too old for you dude. He didn't really give up he's kind of been like creepily going places I go and whatever it's kind of endearing honestly.

Who goes to the library? Me. Very few other people AND this guy once he found out I go to the library 24/7 365 when I'm not working or doing something else. Funny to bump into someone there constantly.

He's 26 and I'm 37. He keeps randomly bringing me coffees when he drops his brother off for GED study help and popping up everywhere. I don't know if he's stalking me to be honest but I don't think so.

This guy is unreasonably attractive too and so I think that is making me suspicious also like....what?!?

Anyways I think it's a no from me because of the 11 year age difference but I wanted opinions especially from the ladies.

Also I want to add into the equation that my ex is in another relationship now with a girl way younger I would say she's probably 23 or 24 and he is 40 but I feel like men get high fives when they do this stuff but when the role is reversed and a woman is with a younger guy it's almost looked at like pity like "oh that poor woman" or whatever like there's something somewhat desperate about older woman younger man where it isn't like that when the man is older. I don't want my ex to be making fun of me hehehehehehe.

Everything you have written tells me you should wait. This is too full on too soon and although you like the attention he is a creep.

I wouldn't worry about the age gap though as it isn't unbridgeable and I doubt people would care. Men don't really 'high five' each other over younger women, it's more of a biological thing for both sexes.

[Shoshanna]

I've dated younger men and I have dated older men.
I prefer the former.

I'd have to say it totally depends on your comfort level.  Do you share or are open to enough of his interests?  And vice versa?  I also think what are considered age differences will continue to diminish as you both age.

Wow I accidentally hit report on your comment I don't think it did anything because my internet is spotty at work right now but if so I did not mean to report your comment I was trying to hit the quote button.

This is what all of my friends are saying to go for it because we do have a lot in common and it is easy having conversations with him but I am apprehensive also because I pretty much had just my husband for a relationship and he ended up changing from not wanting kids to wanting kids so bad we ended up getting a divorce. And not even because I wasn't willing to try just because I'm too old according to him so something would be wrong with the baby if we did.  So I just worry about that too because he's young and my husband didn't want kids at all until he hit like 38.

[Shoshanna]

Everything you have written tells me you should wait. This is too full on too soon and although you like the attention he is a creep.

I wouldn't worry about the age gap though as it isn't unbridgeable and I doubt people would care. Men don't really 'high five' each other over younger women, it's more of a biological thing for both sexes.

It IS a little creepy! I was thinking that too like what if he's really a weirdo secretly and I'm just being blinded and flattered by attention from cute guy. I'm worried too he will want to go super fast into a relationship and I don't want to do that because I already made one mistake I didn't even know was a mistake until 16 years after the fact with my husband.

[midicon]

It IS a little creepy! I was thinking that too like what if he's really a weirdo secretly and I'm just being blinded and flattered by attention from cute guy. I'm worried too he will want to go super fast into a relationship and I don't want to do that because I already made one mistake I didn't even know was a mistake until 16 years after the fact with my husband.

It's a vulnerable time for you, given your situation and your age. I'm not saying you are but you might be seen as an easy target for 'players' or such like.

Women too have that biological clock thing going on and also worry about losing their looks. Men don't really have those issues.

It might be that you are super hot with resources ...or small fat, frumpy and skint lol. I can't say but that too might tell you something!

Good luck with whatever you decide! I'd just be cautious.

[Wild Bill]

Go for it Shoshanna you are young and life is short girl ,, have some fun while you are still young , When I was 17  I was dating a 26 year old hottie and spent 4 great years being a time served toy boy    older women really liked me , I am a old fart now nearly 59 years old but could pass for 40 something easily .

I have  and lived with younger women and it is true when they say that age is just a number and it all depends on the persons maturity , When I was 32 I dated a 19 year old really really sensible lass , who did not smoke ,drink or party and was a total bookworm like me but after 2 years I ended the relationship as I felt I was holding her back in life .

I am a happy hermit these days and love being alone just me and my dog , but i have a neighbour 2 doors away from me a  very nice young lady very sensible and quiet in her 30s who obviously has daddy issues lol , we have been neighbours for 8 years and get on well  , I have always been Mr prim and proper with her But she really likes me which shocks me ! As I am her fathers age and have no urge for a physical relationship any more , if I want a cuddle I have a dog .

I am suprised no younger guy has snapped this young lady up as she has a good job owns her own home and never goes out to bars etc , I was a male **** when I was younger and no the signs when someone fancys  you like touching your hand or giving you a cuddle !  , But with my health conditions etc and the vast age difference that definatly is a no go area with me , going to be tricky though as I am doing some work at her property next week .

My sister has been in a relationship with a guy 10 years younger than her for over a decade now and it seems to be working  out for her .

So my advice to you would be go out and have some fun in life and put a smile on this 
Young guys face and teach him a trick or two   what have you got to loose at the end of the day

[IdeomotorPrisoner]

What is too big of an age difference in a relationship? 

For the most part, after 25, a decade apart doesn't mean much, *but*

Guys are generally a few to ten years behind maturity-wise. So when going younger there is an adjusted true age to consider. For guys anyway.

26 male is a around 16-18 female, on average.

Your ex in the reverse position dating the
24 year old is actually closer to his average adjusted age. And may actually high 5 over his conquest? 

That's the GENERAL answer for age differences among M/F relationships. 

Here is the girl answer...

 So this GUY I know I asked me out like immediately after people found out I was divorcing and I laughed and laughed and said I'm about 50 years too old for you dude. He didn't really give up he's kind of been like creepily going places I go and whatever it's kind of endearing honestly.

Who goes to the library? Me. Very few other people AND this guy once he found out I go to the library 24/7 365...

Did you find Duckie from outside Molly Ringwald's house? 

Lost puppies that are warm to the touch drive me insane. And this one sounds like the most lost of puppies. Did you give him an attention milk bone once? 

Like the total absence of confidence and the creepy processing to always be showing up is red flag city.

Some might find the persistence endearing, but there is cute persistence and there is uncomfortable persistence. 

That definitely sounds like the uncomfortable kind.

I had a lost puppy do that once. Sometimes it's not worth their libido tips. I may have been too nice for gratuity at first.

The third time he came in I started bringing up my girlfriend when hed talk to me. But some men just won't see the pink triangle even if you lay it on with what you assumed was a pretty heavy hint to fuck off.  Even worse is if they add it to their imagined relationship with you, and still keep showing up. He eventually got the hint when they allowed me to leave if he showed up.

It is like Butters in that South Park episode where he thinks he's in a relationship with the "raisins" girl.  But that was innocent Butters not knowing any better, if they still do that mid 20s, they are completely destined for nerdery, staying virgins, collecting funko pop, being creepy stalkers, just autistic, or all of the above.

[UltraBudgie]

He's 26 and I'm 37.

Who is any one to judge? Ben Franklin says it's okay:

https://www.laphamsquarterly.org/eros/pr...lder-women

Remember, "Marriage is the proper Remedy".



Just be nice.

[Shoshanna]

Who is any one to judge? Ben Franklin says it's okay:

https://www.laphamsquarterly.org/eros/pr...lder-women

Remember, "Marriage is the proper Remedy".



Just be nice.

I think I just fell in love with Benjamin Franklin hehehehehe. Side note why don't people talk like that anymore?