Yesterday, 10:58 AM
This post was last modified Yesterday, 12:26 PM by AlroyFarms. Edited 18 times in total.
Quick note: This thread comes from ‘the other side’ and was posted in 2012 by yours truly. I have spent some time polishing it up for reevaluation here. Changes made were simply the whims of someone always striving to be a better writer (fixed things like wordiness, bloat, word choice, grammar and punctuation etc. for a smoother reading experience.) Also please note that I have cut several sentences and paragraphs if I felt they did not relate to or enhance the main focus overall.
There are also some instances where I interjected myself with updated thoughts. These comments will appear in brackets [ 2024: like this. ]
I was also super fortunate that the original sketches I made were still online for prosperity here as I did not keep the originals.
As always, thanks for taking the time to read and/or comment.
******
I grew up with my mom and older brother. My brother is about 8 years older than me and he moved out when he turned 18. But we’re going to go back to a time when we all lived together. My mom wasn’t the most attentive mother and I didn’t know it at the time, but she was a highly functional alcoholic. Therefore, my brother took care of me most of the time—when he could. That’s not really important though. I’m just trying to set up a reference point.
My mom was interested in things like The X Files, aliens, the paranormal, you name it. There were a lot of shows like The X Files playing around our house. However I don’t ever really recall any talk of aliens or paranormal. We never discussed it—there weren’t any images of aliens (just one which I will discuss soon) or “I Want to Believe” posters hanging around the house. I was exposed to the subject matter of The X Files from a young age and it terrified me. I wouldn’t say I was exactly overwhelmed and inundated with such imagery and subject matter though. I mean, I remember seeing movies like The Communion, Fire in the Sky, and Close Encounters of the Third Kind. Such things were the norm of my childhood. But again, no discussions outside of the movie ever took place except my brother and my mom telling me “It’s not real. No reason to be scared.”
The only other thing I remember was that my mother had a picture of then President Clinton shaking hands with an alien on the cover of Weekly World News or some such tabloid. This picture was hanging up on the ceiling of her bathroom. It was a weird place for it, but my mom was and still is a weird person. I was afraid to go into her bathroom because I didn’t want to see the picture at all!
[ 2024: I will eventually describe an entity I refer to as the Sagging Gray Man, and now that I think back on it I believe it was a form based on this archetypical image of Clinton’s alien. Perhaps when we encounter certain entities they appear to us based on beliefs and images already held in our minds. For example, in one of my subsequent paralysis/ astral fits, I believe an angel was talking to me. She seemed to be hiding behind some kind of 'blind' and I got the notion that I could not see her true form, whatever that meant. ]
I would say that as a child my biggest fear was being abducted by aliens. What a strange childhood I had! I’m not ashamed to admit that I was afraid to sleep in my own bed and often had to crawl into bed with my older brother at an age that was a huge deviation from normal, healthy development. I did this because I felt so vulnerable to being kidnapped by aliens. His bed was up against the wall. What’s strange is that both of us were inherently afraid of not being close up against the wall. Sleeping in that bed we often fought over who would get the near-wall side. It was dreadful not sleeping against the wall. What his reasons were—I don’t know. But I knew what my reasons were. If I wasn’t cushioned between the wall and my older brother I felt like they had easy access to get me. This paragraph was meant to illustrate my irrational fears.
Even when I did start sleeping in the bunk bed above my brother, I always had to have the closet light turned on at the other side of the room and the bedroom door always had to be closed. I did not like waking up in the middle of the night (as I often did) and seeing the opened door. Trying to look out into the dark hallway stirred my imagination and filled me with fear of what might be out there watching me sleep. Same with the closet, I had to have the light on so I could see what was out there. For me it wasn’t monsters in the closet—but aliens. I had several drawings of UFO saucers and alien beings. I remember in the 1st grade we had to keep a picture journal. I remember one entry where I wrote something like “last night I saw an alien again” and drew a picture of it. Yeah I wasn’t normal haha. I concede that—but we’re just getting started.
In the summers my brother and I stayed up late having all kinds of fun like 2 boys would: playing video games, watching movies, etc. One night we were up at about 2-3 AM playing around quietly not to disturb our sleeping mother. We’d heard a loud, eerie noise that was like a loud buzzing or electronic warble. We weren't even using any electronic devices or toys. We immediately froze and looked at each other. It was a strange and frightening noise. My brother simply whispered, “Bedtime.” We didn’t even go outside to see what made the sound. It scared us both and no further investigation was dared on our part. The next day my brother and I had some strange pinpoint sized scabs behind our ears. We didn’t really think much about them even though it was odd to say the least.
[ 2024: I'm not sure if this qualifies as physical evidence. The scabs behind our ears are one detail that confounds and baffles me more than anything because nothing like that ever happened again. Regrettably, my brother and I now have a very sour relationship so I've never breached the subject with him. ]
Anyhow time went on and my fears of abduction slowly subsided over the years. My brother also moved out on his own and my mom and I moved into another home. I was growing out of childhood and turning into a young teenager. I started having sleep paralysis. I had no clue what it was. But after repeat experiences, I began to think it was part of an abduction process. I remained skeptical because I had never actually seen any entities during the paralysis. I had many dreams of being back in the old apartment though. Dreams of lying in bed and seeing little gray beings walking around in the darkness. These dreams coupled with sleep paralysis started pointing me in the wrong direction (I say this with hindsight bias.) I was becoming more and more convinced that this was an abduction experience I was having. I had no memories other than the frozen paralysis in bed while my eyelids flipped open and forced me to gaze up at my ceiling for a minute or two before I fell back asleep.
I started having episodes where I would wake up in the middle of the night (which was common for me..and still is) and see gray beings in my bedroom. I would wake up suddenly, take a survey of my surroundings, and see something in the corner of my room looking at me. I would only get a split-second glimpse of it before falling back asleep.
[ 2024: Please note that when I am describing the Sagging Gray Men encounters below, that this is NOT sleep paralysis. This is 100% indisputable waking awareness. At the very least it was a form of waking hallucination. ]
What did they look like? Not like typical grays that I had imagined them to be from the years of X Files exposure and pop cultural references. They were lanky, skinny, with sagging gray skin making them look ugly and old. They wore no clothes but I could see no genitals or nipples or any secondary sexual characteristics. Their heads were not much proportionately larger than their bodies and their eyes were small, black, and beady. They stood in the darkness illuminated by a blue glow which had no source.
[ 2024: Due to some recent health issues, I had lost nearly 80 lbs. One day after a shower I closely observed myself naked in the mirror and images of the sickly Sagging Gray Man came flooding back. I had all the sags and scars and boniness of the Gray Man. Was I seeing some alternate form of myself back then? ]
I had maybe 2 or 3 similar episodes with these entities in my bedroom before I went back to the “I’m being abducted” conclusion. I never told anybody about what was happening. I didn’t seem to be suffering in any physical way. The experiences were very scary but since they only seemed to last a few brief seconds, I wasn’t exactly crippled with fear.
I went on a trip with my dad across the state one time to an MLB game. We rented a motel and went to the baseball game that evening. We came back and I fell asleep almost instantly from the exhaustion of the trip and the long ballgame. Even in this motel in another state I woke up suddenly to see another Saggy Gray Man (is what I called them at the time—never having heard the term 'Alien Gray') who was standing at the foot of the bed as my dad slept next to me. He was again illuminated by that soft, blue glow. I could see features of the hotel room in the light of this glow—like the cheap floral wallpaper, the vanity mirror above the desk, and a little lamp mounted on the wall. Details I hadn’t even really paid attention to when I was awake were now sticking out as I peered upon the entity. I could see the Gray Man only long enough to watch it as it turned around and began moving away. I inspected the details of the room opposite of the bed the next day and sure enough, it was exactly as I had seen it during my 'blue light' encounter. We stayed one more night in the motel room before heading back home—I couldn’t sleep at all the 2nd night and watched TV instead. I was too afraid to even close my eyes. I had many, many nights like this. I still do sometimes.
Okay, so evidence that I was experiencing some kind of visitation was starting to add up. Sleep paralysis continued every step of the way. For the record, the sudden wakes-up with the blue glow and Gray Man were NOT sleep paralysis episodes; they were just instances of me waking up fully alert and seeing something. I never saw any entities during my sleep paralysis at this time in my life (although I would begin to experience hallucinations during sleep paralysis years later). However, I began talking to 'them.' Before I went to sleep, I would say things like, “You’re really scaring me. Please stop whatever you’re doing.”
The next time I had this ‘wake-up’ experience, I saw a really strange being instead of the Gray Man. It was a white, boxy looking thing. It looked very cartoonish—almost like the Michelin Man but with more quadrangles instead of tubular limbs and features. Its face was like a white, lit-up little rectangle with a simple face. It literally had 2 black dots for eyes and a curvy, black line for a smile. It seemed to be emanating some white light like it was its own light source. I couldn’t believe this. When I woke up and saw this I thought “You gotta be kidding me. This is a joke.” That was the last time I ever had a wake-up visitation of the sorts I described.
But as you might imagine, the story isn’t over.
It was summer 2002 and I was doing okay. I had my first girlfriend, was doing well in school, had lots of friends, and I was coming along fine. I ignored the sleep paralysis and always kept the fear and speculation in the back of my mind. I was focusing on my life. I was not being harmed physically, so my physical life took precedent before sleep paralysis and aliens…until one morning.
I heard a loud thud that woke me up. It sounded like the front door—but it sounded like maybe somebody slammed it loud. I wondered if my mom was leaving for work. I sat up on my shoulder and looked at the clock near my bed to see what time it was. I thought, “No, that wasn’t my mom. She’s been to work for hours already.” Okay, so I had to go see what this loud slamming noise was. (It was a singular noise—happened only once.) As I motioned to start getting out of bed, I saw something standing in my doorway staring at me with the door wide open.
It was very dark. It had a dark face, dark features, and a dark cloak that enrobed its entire body with a hood covering most of its head. I could see some slightly shimmery facial features. It looked like a bug—an ant maybe. It had large, shiny black eyes that reflected some light. Its skin was rough and textured, like the rind of an avocado but somehow still smooth instead of abrasive. It appeared to have no nose, but rather some kind of shallow snout that tapered off into a tiny little mouth. It reminded me of an ant without mandibles. The robe prevented me from seeing any other features. I believe the robe was all black, although memory seems to want me to say that it had a little purple trim as well. It’s been so long that some of those finer details are lost to me.
[ 2024: Not doing much better on those finer details today ha. But basically whatever I remembered in 2012 is still crystal-freaking-clear even now. ]
I wasn’t scared. I was shocked. I thought, “What the—I gotta see what this is. I gotta shake its hand.” I sensed that it was surprised as well. It seemed surprised that I could see it. I don’t know why or how I got this impression. I just had the feeling like it was equally surprised as I was—perhaps even a bit annoyed at me for noticing it.
I continued my motions to get out of bed and get closer to it (still from shoulder position.) It appeared to be raising its hand or making some kind of gesture with its arm. I don’t know exactly what was happening because I was so fixated on its face. If I had to guess, I think out of the corner of my eye I was seeing it raise its hand or making some kind of movement. I instantly blacked out for several hours.
I woke up and immediately thought “Okay, what the ____ was that?” I wanted to tell somebody. I wanted to tell my friends, my mom, my girlfriend. But I knew nobody would understand. It’s the same reason I could never tell anybody before. Except this time I was beginning to fear for my mental health. In fact, I have lasting trauma to this day. I absolutely still cannot EVER have my bedroom door open. Even if it’s open a tiny crack I freak out and reprimand whoever left it open. Likewise, every time I wake up I immediately look toward my door to make sure it’s closed and that no hooded entities are watching me. I still have tremendous trouble sleeping at times because I feel like I’m being watched in the darkness.
[ 2024: I still prefer closed doors in all instances, but I have a kitty now that likes to roam in the night so I leave it open for her. I do not have the fear anymore, just the preference. Progress! ]
Back to the story. A few weeks passed and the whole incident became irrelevant. I became diagnosed with a very aggressive cancer after an ER visit and the next few years of my life was one of a cancer patient. That’s another story entirely, though it is a fascinating tale filled with drama, anger, heartbreak, and miracles. But again—another story. The only thing I’d like to point out is that not once did I have any encounters, wake-ups, or sleep paralysis in the 2-3 years that I was treated for cancer. I often wondered why they seemed to stop so abruptly when I was having these episodes at least once or twice a week before my diagnosis.
Sleep paralysis did not resume until I was well into my remission (by the way I’d like to point out that my surviving this cancer was nothing short of a miracle. None of those doctors had faith that I would make it. The attending doctor in the ER who discovered the tumors estimated that I literally had days, if not hours before my organs would shut down. I’ve had a few physicians look at my medical reports and records and just become dumbfounded that I am alive and am in as good a shape as I am.)
I was also experiencing a lot of depression at this time. I felt abandoned by all my friends and my girlfriend—I had no support, understanding, or empathy from my family either. I never felt so alone and even let my depression lead me down the road to contemplated suicide. I couldn’t see a life for myself after what I’d been through. Cancer treatments left me with several weakened vital organs, neurological damage, as well as moderate and severe hearing loss in both ears; the list goes on and on! I missed out on high school education and did not have the benefit of socializing in a teenage atmosphere. Instead I spent literally months at a time alone in specially quarantined hospital wards. Despite all that, I am alive, healthy, put myself through college, and held a successful job. I golf, play hockey, and continue to jam on my drums to this day.
I survived the illness, but the post-depression was really taking its toll on me. I was looking for answers for everything! I was a teenager, I was a cancer survivor, and I was a victim of some notion of being visited by non-human entities. The sleep paralysis began to take a fearful turn as well. I started having frightful hallucinations and voices with them. It took me many years but I finally told my mom what was happening to me before and after the cancer. I expected her to call me crazy and send me off to the funhouse.
But instead she told me she believed me and began to ask questions to learn more. This opened up our relationship in a new way. We had already developed a very strong bond during my cancer. She was the only one who cared for me during that time. She quit drinking and became the best mother I could have ever asked for. She was emotionally supportive every step of the way—went above and beyond the call of motherhood to see me through my cancer. Doctors had even attempted to prepare her for my eventual death because they could not stop internal bleeding or revive me on a few occasions. She even revealed to me that she once saw the “Boxy Michelin Man” in a near-sleep state. This is how open and uncensored our discussions were growing.
Instead of ridiculing me and calling me crazy, my mom began to share things with me that she never told anyone. She told me how she and her sisters and one brother all saw a UFO when they were kids and it scared the daylights out of them. She told me how she would feel like she was floating up out of bed as a teenager when she would lie down. Like I said, she was always interested in the paranormal, but never encouraged it in my brother or me.
This inspired me to seek out programs like Coast to Coast AM. I needed answers more than ever. My estranged father is a truck driver that drives the night route. My hospital was on his route during my cancer treatment (I was treated out of state at a specialized children’s hospital.) He visited me nearly every night during his lunch hour even though most of the time I was fast asleep. I also asked him one time if he ever listened to C2C on his routes. He told me he’s been listening for years and that George Noory isn’t as good as Art Bell.
This opened up something between me and my father as well—who was absent for a lot of my life. He told me how one time he came to visit me in the ICU when I was in a critical condition. I had had an exploratory biopsy on the cantaloupe-sized tumor in my abdomen and the surgeon caused a bleeding that they couldn’t stop. The doctors told my parents I would die from the blood loss and there was nothing they could do. My dad told me how he desperately prayed while I slept, bleeding and unconscious in the ICU.
He told me that it was the middle of the night and that no one was around but still he had heard some laughter from children come near him. He couldn’t see anything, but that children’s voices told him not to worry because they were always watching and taking care of me. I stopped bleeding and was awake the next day like nothing had ever happened. My dad never told me this story because he was afraid I wouldn’t believe it and would think he was joking and making light of my brush with death.
[ 2024: Blah blah blah and so on and so forth. The rest of the original thread trails off in many directions from this point, so I’d like to play a lighting round! I’ll throw out a few excerpts quoted by me only to illustrate where the thread branched out in other ways. Perhaps we can use these as a springboard for discussion? One other thing I'd like to point out that wasn't mentioned in the original thread is that my sleep paralysis fits did eventually morph into what I consider OOBE or Out of Body Experiences. This may require an entire thread of its own! But I think others like Robert Monroe and Albert Taylor have already splendidly covered ground here. ]
“…I will admit to having been talked to many times during sleep paralysis by what I consider to be angelic entities. They have even expressed their intent to help me, heal me, and guide me. I have even seen the face of Jesus in meditation as I chanted the name of Krishna…”
“…I am aware I may have opened myself up to occultist attacks as I have experimented with things like tarot cards and pendulums…”
“…Much of my research has led to me to Jungian archetypes over and over again. There is something about these 'aliens' ingrained in our collective consciousness. It is something deeply rooted in our symbolism as a species…”
“… if I had even bothered to get into my sleep paralysis/ astral projection and meditation experiences..as well as my lifelong synchronicities with 11:11 and 4:44 and other events…”
“…I have no recollections of being taken anywhere or being transported through space. Although many of my most vivid dreams would seem to involve a subtext of aliens, abductions, and space. I will give you an example. I once had a dream (not a sleep paralysis, but an actual dream) that I was on the surface of Mars with some being. I looked around to see empty buildings and the bodies of several of the aliens (looked like the naked Gray Men) strewn across the landscape..."
And of course, here are the original sketches I made:
"Hooded Entity"
![[Image: b1.jpg]](https://denyignorance.com/uploader/images/b1.jpg)
"Boxy Michelin Man"
![[Image: b2b.jpg]](https://denyignorance.com/uploader/images/b2b.jpg)
"Sagging Gray Man"
![[Image: b3.jpg]](https://denyignorance.com/uploader/images/b3.jpg)
There are also some instances where I interjected myself with updated thoughts. These comments will appear in brackets [ 2024: like this. ]
I was also super fortunate that the original sketches I made were still online for prosperity here as I did not keep the originals.
As always, thanks for taking the time to read and/or comment.
******
I grew up with my mom and older brother. My brother is about 8 years older than me and he moved out when he turned 18. But we’re going to go back to a time when we all lived together. My mom wasn’t the most attentive mother and I didn’t know it at the time, but she was a highly functional alcoholic. Therefore, my brother took care of me most of the time—when he could. That’s not really important though. I’m just trying to set up a reference point.
My mom was interested in things like The X Files, aliens, the paranormal, you name it. There were a lot of shows like The X Files playing around our house. However I don’t ever really recall any talk of aliens or paranormal. We never discussed it—there weren’t any images of aliens (just one which I will discuss soon) or “I Want to Believe” posters hanging around the house. I was exposed to the subject matter of The X Files from a young age and it terrified me. I wouldn’t say I was exactly overwhelmed and inundated with such imagery and subject matter though. I mean, I remember seeing movies like The Communion, Fire in the Sky, and Close Encounters of the Third Kind. Such things were the norm of my childhood. But again, no discussions outside of the movie ever took place except my brother and my mom telling me “It’s not real. No reason to be scared.”
The only other thing I remember was that my mother had a picture of then President Clinton shaking hands with an alien on the cover of Weekly World News or some such tabloid. This picture was hanging up on the ceiling of her bathroom. It was a weird place for it, but my mom was and still is a weird person. I was afraid to go into her bathroom because I didn’t want to see the picture at all!
[ 2024: I will eventually describe an entity I refer to as the Sagging Gray Man, and now that I think back on it I believe it was a form based on this archetypical image of Clinton’s alien. Perhaps when we encounter certain entities they appear to us based on beliefs and images already held in our minds. For example, in one of my subsequent paralysis/ astral fits, I believe an angel was talking to me. She seemed to be hiding behind some kind of 'blind' and I got the notion that I could not see her true form, whatever that meant. ]
I would say that as a child my biggest fear was being abducted by aliens. What a strange childhood I had! I’m not ashamed to admit that I was afraid to sleep in my own bed and often had to crawl into bed with my older brother at an age that was a huge deviation from normal, healthy development. I did this because I felt so vulnerable to being kidnapped by aliens. His bed was up against the wall. What’s strange is that both of us were inherently afraid of not being close up against the wall. Sleeping in that bed we often fought over who would get the near-wall side. It was dreadful not sleeping against the wall. What his reasons were—I don’t know. But I knew what my reasons were. If I wasn’t cushioned between the wall and my older brother I felt like they had easy access to get me. This paragraph was meant to illustrate my irrational fears.
Even when I did start sleeping in the bunk bed above my brother, I always had to have the closet light turned on at the other side of the room and the bedroom door always had to be closed. I did not like waking up in the middle of the night (as I often did) and seeing the opened door. Trying to look out into the dark hallway stirred my imagination and filled me with fear of what might be out there watching me sleep. Same with the closet, I had to have the light on so I could see what was out there. For me it wasn’t monsters in the closet—but aliens. I had several drawings of UFO saucers and alien beings. I remember in the 1st grade we had to keep a picture journal. I remember one entry where I wrote something like “last night I saw an alien again” and drew a picture of it. Yeah I wasn’t normal haha. I concede that—but we’re just getting started.
In the summers my brother and I stayed up late having all kinds of fun like 2 boys would: playing video games, watching movies, etc. One night we were up at about 2-3 AM playing around quietly not to disturb our sleeping mother. We’d heard a loud, eerie noise that was like a loud buzzing or electronic warble. We weren't even using any electronic devices or toys. We immediately froze and looked at each other. It was a strange and frightening noise. My brother simply whispered, “Bedtime.” We didn’t even go outside to see what made the sound. It scared us both and no further investigation was dared on our part. The next day my brother and I had some strange pinpoint sized scabs behind our ears. We didn’t really think much about them even though it was odd to say the least.
[ 2024: I'm not sure if this qualifies as physical evidence. The scabs behind our ears are one detail that confounds and baffles me more than anything because nothing like that ever happened again. Regrettably, my brother and I now have a very sour relationship so I've never breached the subject with him. ]
Anyhow time went on and my fears of abduction slowly subsided over the years. My brother also moved out on his own and my mom and I moved into another home. I was growing out of childhood and turning into a young teenager. I started having sleep paralysis. I had no clue what it was. But after repeat experiences, I began to think it was part of an abduction process. I remained skeptical because I had never actually seen any entities during the paralysis. I had many dreams of being back in the old apartment though. Dreams of lying in bed and seeing little gray beings walking around in the darkness. These dreams coupled with sleep paralysis started pointing me in the wrong direction (I say this with hindsight bias.) I was becoming more and more convinced that this was an abduction experience I was having. I had no memories other than the frozen paralysis in bed while my eyelids flipped open and forced me to gaze up at my ceiling for a minute or two before I fell back asleep.
I started having episodes where I would wake up in the middle of the night (which was common for me..and still is) and see gray beings in my bedroom. I would wake up suddenly, take a survey of my surroundings, and see something in the corner of my room looking at me. I would only get a split-second glimpse of it before falling back asleep.
[ 2024: Please note that when I am describing the Sagging Gray Men encounters below, that this is NOT sleep paralysis. This is 100% indisputable waking awareness. At the very least it was a form of waking hallucination. ]
What did they look like? Not like typical grays that I had imagined them to be from the years of X Files exposure and pop cultural references. They were lanky, skinny, with sagging gray skin making them look ugly and old. They wore no clothes but I could see no genitals or nipples or any secondary sexual characteristics. Their heads were not much proportionately larger than their bodies and their eyes were small, black, and beady. They stood in the darkness illuminated by a blue glow which had no source.
[ 2024: Due to some recent health issues, I had lost nearly 80 lbs. One day after a shower I closely observed myself naked in the mirror and images of the sickly Sagging Gray Man came flooding back. I had all the sags and scars and boniness of the Gray Man. Was I seeing some alternate form of myself back then? ]
I had maybe 2 or 3 similar episodes with these entities in my bedroom before I went back to the “I’m being abducted” conclusion. I never told anybody about what was happening. I didn’t seem to be suffering in any physical way. The experiences were very scary but since they only seemed to last a few brief seconds, I wasn’t exactly crippled with fear.
I went on a trip with my dad across the state one time to an MLB game. We rented a motel and went to the baseball game that evening. We came back and I fell asleep almost instantly from the exhaustion of the trip and the long ballgame. Even in this motel in another state I woke up suddenly to see another Saggy Gray Man (is what I called them at the time—never having heard the term 'Alien Gray') who was standing at the foot of the bed as my dad slept next to me. He was again illuminated by that soft, blue glow. I could see features of the hotel room in the light of this glow—like the cheap floral wallpaper, the vanity mirror above the desk, and a little lamp mounted on the wall. Details I hadn’t even really paid attention to when I was awake were now sticking out as I peered upon the entity. I could see the Gray Man only long enough to watch it as it turned around and began moving away. I inspected the details of the room opposite of the bed the next day and sure enough, it was exactly as I had seen it during my 'blue light' encounter. We stayed one more night in the motel room before heading back home—I couldn’t sleep at all the 2nd night and watched TV instead. I was too afraid to even close my eyes. I had many, many nights like this. I still do sometimes.
Okay, so evidence that I was experiencing some kind of visitation was starting to add up. Sleep paralysis continued every step of the way. For the record, the sudden wakes-up with the blue glow and Gray Man were NOT sleep paralysis episodes; they were just instances of me waking up fully alert and seeing something. I never saw any entities during my sleep paralysis at this time in my life (although I would begin to experience hallucinations during sleep paralysis years later). However, I began talking to 'them.' Before I went to sleep, I would say things like, “You’re really scaring me. Please stop whatever you’re doing.”
The next time I had this ‘wake-up’ experience, I saw a really strange being instead of the Gray Man. It was a white, boxy looking thing. It looked very cartoonish—almost like the Michelin Man but with more quadrangles instead of tubular limbs and features. Its face was like a white, lit-up little rectangle with a simple face. It literally had 2 black dots for eyes and a curvy, black line for a smile. It seemed to be emanating some white light like it was its own light source. I couldn’t believe this. When I woke up and saw this I thought “You gotta be kidding me. This is a joke.” That was the last time I ever had a wake-up visitation of the sorts I described.
But as you might imagine, the story isn’t over.
It was summer 2002 and I was doing okay. I had my first girlfriend, was doing well in school, had lots of friends, and I was coming along fine. I ignored the sleep paralysis and always kept the fear and speculation in the back of my mind. I was focusing on my life. I was not being harmed physically, so my physical life took precedent before sleep paralysis and aliens…until one morning.
I heard a loud thud that woke me up. It sounded like the front door—but it sounded like maybe somebody slammed it loud. I wondered if my mom was leaving for work. I sat up on my shoulder and looked at the clock near my bed to see what time it was. I thought, “No, that wasn’t my mom. She’s been to work for hours already.” Okay, so I had to go see what this loud slamming noise was. (It was a singular noise—happened only once.) As I motioned to start getting out of bed, I saw something standing in my doorway staring at me with the door wide open.
It was very dark. It had a dark face, dark features, and a dark cloak that enrobed its entire body with a hood covering most of its head. I could see some slightly shimmery facial features. It looked like a bug—an ant maybe. It had large, shiny black eyes that reflected some light. Its skin was rough and textured, like the rind of an avocado but somehow still smooth instead of abrasive. It appeared to have no nose, but rather some kind of shallow snout that tapered off into a tiny little mouth. It reminded me of an ant without mandibles. The robe prevented me from seeing any other features. I believe the robe was all black, although memory seems to want me to say that it had a little purple trim as well. It’s been so long that some of those finer details are lost to me.
[ 2024: Not doing much better on those finer details today ha. But basically whatever I remembered in 2012 is still crystal-freaking-clear even now. ]
I wasn’t scared. I was shocked. I thought, “What the—I gotta see what this is. I gotta shake its hand.” I sensed that it was surprised as well. It seemed surprised that I could see it. I don’t know why or how I got this impression. I just had the feeling like it was equally surprised as I was—perhaps even a bit annoyed at me for noticing it.
I continued my motions to get out of bed and get closer to it (still from shoulder position.) It appeared to be raising its hand or making some kind of gesture with its arm. I don’t know exactly what was happening because I was so fixated on its face. If I had to guess, I think out of the corner of my eye I was seeing it raise its hand or making some kind of movement. I instantly blacked out for several hours.
I woke up and immediately thought “Okay, what the ____ was that?” I wanted to tell somebody. I wanted to tell my friends, my mom, my girlfriend. But I knew nobody would understand. It’s the same reason I could never tell anybody before. Except this time I was beginning to fear for my mental health. In fact, I have lasting trauma to this day. I absolutely still cannot EVER have my bedroom door open. Even if it’s open a tiny crack I freak out and reprimand whoever left it open. Likewise, every time I wake up I immediately look toward my door to make sure it’s closed and that no hooded entities are watching me. I still have tremendous trouble sleeping at times because I feel like I’m being watched in the darkness.
[ 2024: I still prefer closed doors in all instances, but I have a kitty now that likes to roam in the night so I leave it open for her. I do not have the fear anymore, just the preference. Progress! ]
Back to the story. A few weeks passed and the whole incident became irrelevant. I became diagnosed with a very aggressive cancer after an ER visit and the next few years of my life was one of a cancer patient. That’s another story entirely, though it is a fascinating tale filled with drama, anger, heartbreak, and miracles. But again—another story. The only thing I’d like to point out is that not once did I have any encounters, wake-ups, or sleep paralysis in the 2-3 years that I was treated for cancer. I often wondered why they seemed to stop so abruptly when I was having these episodes at least once or twice a week before my diagnosis.
Sleep paralysis did not resume until I was well into my remission (by the way I’d like to point out that my surviving this cancer was nothing short of a miracle. None of those doctors had faith that I would make it. The attending doctor in the ER who discovered the tumors estimated that I literally had days, if not hours before my organs would shut down. I’ve had a few physicians look at my medical reports and records and just become dumbfounded that I am alive and am in as good a shape as I am.)
I was also experiencing a lot of depression at this time. I felt abandoned by all my friends and my girlfriend—I had no support, understanding, or empathy from my family either. I never felt so alone and even let my depression lead me down the road to contemplated suicide. I couldn’t see a life for myself after what I’d been through. Cancer treatments left me with several weakened vital organs, neurological damage, as well as moderate and severe hearing loss in both ears; the list goes on and on! I missed out on high school education and did not have the benefit of socializing in a teenage atmosphere. Instead I spent literally months at a time alone in specially quarantined hospital wards. Despite all that, I am alive, healthy, put myself through college, and held a successful job. I golf, play hockey, and continue to jam on my drums to this day.
I survived the illness, but the post-depression was really taking its toll on me. I was looking for answers for everything! I was a teenager, I was a cancer survivor, and I was a victim of some notion of being visited by non-human entities. The sleep paralysis began to take a fearful turn as well. I started having frightful hallucinations and voices with them. It took me many years but I finally told my mom what was happening to me before and after the cancer. I expected her to call me crazy and send me off to the funhouse.
But instead she told me she believed me and began to ask questions to learn more. This opened up our relationship in a new way. We had already developed a very strong bond during my cancer. She was the only one who cared for me during that time. She quit drinking and became the best mother I could have ever asked for. She was emotionally supportive every step of the way—went above and beyond the call of motherhood to see me through my cancer. Doctors had even attempted to prepare her for my eventual death because they could not stop internal bleeding or revive me on a few occasions. She even revealed to me that she once saw the “Boxy Michelin Man” in a near-sleep state. This is how open and uncensored our discussions were growing.
Instead of ridiculing me and calling me crazy, my mom began to share things with me that she never told anyone. She told me how she and her sisters and one brother all saw a UFO when they were kids and it scared the daylights out of them. She told me how she would feel like she was floating up out of bed as a teenager when she would lie down. Like I said, she was always interested in the paranormal, but never encouraged it in my brother or me.
This inspired me to seek out programs like Coast to Coast AM. I needed answers more than ever. My estranged father is a truck driver that drives the night route. My hospital was on his route during my cancer treatment (I was treated out of state at a specialized children’s hospital.) He visited me nearly every night during his lunch hour even though most of the time I was fast asleep. I also asked him one time if he ever listened to C2C on his routes. He told me he’s been listening for years and that George Noory isn’t as good as Art Bell.
This opened up something between me and my father as well—who was absent for a lot of my life. He told me how one time he came to visit me in the ICU when I was in a critical condition. I had had an exploratory biopsy on the cantaloupe-sized tumor in my abdomen and the surgeon caused a bleeding that they couldn’t stop. The doctors told my parents I would die from the blood loss and there was nothing they could do. My dad told me how he desperately prayed while I slept, bleeding and unconscious in the ICU.
He told me that it was the middle of the night and that no one was around but still he had heard some laughter from children come near him. He couldn’t see anything, but that children’s voices told him not to worry because they were always watching and taking care of me. I stopped bleeding and was awake the next day like nothing had ever happened. My dad never told me this story because he was afraid I wouldn’t believe it and would think he was joking and making light of my brush with death.
[ 2024: Blah blah blah and so on and so forth. The rest of the original thread trails off in many directions from this point, so I’d like to play a lighting round! I’ll throw out a few excerpts quoted by me only to illustrate where the thread branched out in other ways. Perhaps we can use these as a springboard for discussion? One other thing I'd like to point out that wasn't mentioned in the original thread is that my sleep paralysis fits did eventually morph into what I consider OOBE or Out of Body Experiences. This may require an entire thread of its own! But I think others like Robert Monroe and Albert Taylor have already splendidly covered ground here. ]
“…I will admit to having been talked to many times during sleep paralysis by what I consider to be angelic entities. They have even expressed their intent to help me, heal me, and guide me. I have even seen the face of Jesus in meditation as I chanted the name of Krishna…”
“…I am aware I may have opened myself up to occultist attacks as I have experimented with things like tarot cards and pendulums…”
“…Much of my research has led to me to Jungian archetypes over and over again. There is something about these 'aliens' ingrained in our collective consciousness. It is something deeply rooted in our symbolism as a species…”
“… if I had even bothered to get into my sleep paralysis/ astral projection and meditation experiences..as well as my lifelong synchronicities with 11:11 and 4:44 and other events…”
“…I have no recollections of being taken anywhere or being transported through space. Although many of my most vivid dreams would seem to involve a subtext of aliens, abductions, and space. I will give you an example. I once had a dream (not a sleep paralysis, but an actual dream) that I was on the surface of Mars with some being. I looked around to see empty buildings and the bodies of several of the aliens (looked like the naked Gray Men) strewn across the landscape..."
And of course, here are the original sketches I made:
"Hooded Entity"
"Boxy Michelin Man"
"Sagging Gray Man"
All that we see or seem is but a dream within a dream--Edgar Allen Poe
