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I refuse to let go of my grief
#20
(09-28-2024, 10:12 PM)Maxmars Wrote: Please forgive me, I didn't mean to say that such things are not real, or don't happen... I have absolutely no reason to doubt it...

It's more about how I feel that I am so consumed by my grief for her, that I might 'convince' myself of it happening, rather than actually experiencing it.

My wife and I spent many hours sitting on a small second floor patio, watching clouds, and birds, and the landscape during the day... and the stars at night... a habit we cultivated and kept even after quitting smoking.  We would talk... or rather I would babble and she would listen patiently... we would laugh, or just ponder the world and all it's minutiae... our conversations were often interrupted by an observation like "Look! There's a hawk!" or a fox, or bunnies... you know, nature...

After she died, whenever I stand out there and see a cardinal, or a new splash of flowers, I feel like she's seeing it with me... it's not a striking jolt of a thing, just a feeling... so I recall it as 'missing her.'  But just last week, I was thinking about her saying something to me, and I sat down to the computer and clicked on one of those "short" video things, quite random... and the very words I was thinking about were repeated... it shattered my composure, and I cried...

I'm not sure if that's the same thing... but it was what was in my mind when I mentioned the part about not being sure if it was me, or her... I know how I took it, I know how I felt, but maybe it was only synchronicity... and grief.

Thanks for responding, I wouldn't want to leave you with the idea that I don't think such things really happen.


Oh I didn't take it that way, but thank you for explaining it.

I just edited my post, but you replied before reading it.

I feel I have so much to share here, maybe I will do that later when I have more time.
If freedom of speech is taken away, then dumb and silent we may be led, like sheep to the slaughter - George Washington
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Messages In This Thread
I refuse to let go of my grief - by Maxmars - 09-21-2024, 08:49 PM
RE: I refuse to let go of my grief - by Maxmars - 09-22-2024, 01:24 AM
RE: I refuse to let go of my grief - by FlyersFan - 09-22-2024, 04:19 AM
RE: I refuse to let go of my grief - by Maxmars - 09-22-2024, 05:19 AM
RE: I refuse to let go of my grief - by xpert11 - 09-28-2024, 10:33 PM
RE: I refuse to let go of my grief - by jaded - 09-22-2024, 01:32 PM
RE: I refuse to let go of my grief - by Kurokage - 09-23-2024, 09:42 AM
RE: I refuse to let go of my grief - by Maxmars - 09-23-2024, 04:08 PM
RE: I refuse to let go of my grief - by Kurokage - 09-24-2024, 07:30 AM
RE: I refuse to let go of my grief - by Creaky - 09-23-2024, 05:42 PM
RE: I refuse to let go of my grief - by Maxmars - 09-23-2024, 06:24 PM
RE: I refuse to let go of my grief - by putnam6 - 09-23-2024, 06:51 PM
RE: I refuse to let go of my grief - by Maxmars - 09-23-2024, 07:08 PM
RE: I refuse to let go of my grief - by Chiefsmom - 09-24-2024, 08:51 AM
RE: I refuse to let go of my grief - by Maxmars - 09-28-2024, 04:00 PM
RE: I refuse to let go of my grief - by Maxmars - 09-28-2024, 10:12 PM
RE: I refuse to let go of my grief - by LightAngel - 09-28-2024, 10:23 PM
RE: I refuse to let go of my grief - by Maxmars - 09-28-2024, 10:26 PM
RE: I refuse to let go of my grief - by Rigel4 - 10-04-2024, 12:30 AM
RE: I refuse to let go of my grief - by Anna - 10-04-2024, 05:27 AM
RE: I refuse to let go of my grief - by Maxmars - 10-04-2024, 05:47 AM
RE: I refuse to let go of my grief - by Maxmars - 10-06-2024, 02:59 AM
RE: I refuse to let go of my grief - by argentus - 10-06-2024, 02:37 PM

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