I refuse to let go of my grief

[putnam6]

So sorry for your loss...

[Maxmars]

So sorry for your loss...

Thank you.

[rickymouse]

I'd be the same way if My wife died or any of my kids or grand kids.  I would refuse to believe their soul died, I think it joins into the collective consciousness of this world or reality we live within..

[Kurokage]

Occasionally, artists can reach a level of expression that inspires emotions that may not be exactly "desired" by their audience... 

"Nothing Compares to You" reaches that level for me...  

For reasons that probably don't require elaboration, this song hurts to hear... although the sense of resentment separates it from me.

I imagine the grief expressed in this song was more than just "a performance."

"Harmonious" is a word mostly reserved for the musical, but it also relates to synchronous emotions and mindsets... 

Thank you for your harmony... and your understanding.

She had lost her mother in a car crash 5 years before and still felt the pain, which is what can be seen in the video.
I too lost a parent at a young age (something I'm not going to talk about here) which has left me sometimes feeling angry or emotionaly detached from the people around me, sometimes I still succomb to that pain. I read your post and this song poped straight into my head.

[Chiefsmom]

I'm sorry for your loss.
But I am also happy for you.  You got to share 43 years with someone you obviously loved deeply.
My neighbor lost his wife 10 years ago to Parkinsons.  They were married for 60 years.
He is 93 now.
He said in the beginning, the only thing that got him out of bed, was hearing her voice in his head, telling him he still had things to do.  But that it was still the hardest thing he did.  And still is.

I hope hubby and I have as many years, but if for some reason we can't, at least I can say what we have had has been wonderful.  
Good and bad.  He just makes me a better person and I love him infinity.

[LightAngel]

You all express yourself so emotional and beautiful, it really shows your intelligence and the love you all have inside.

I personally don't think we die - I think we change form (almost like a caterpillar). We are energy, and energy can't be destroyed it can only change form.

I also think our loved ones can give us signs from the other side, it can be a smell or a special message in a dream, etc. I wonder if any of you people got a sign? It can be very healing when it happens.

[Maxmars]

I have heard my children speak of "messages" and "feelings"... 

it has brought them great relief...

Even I have felt "suddenly" that I had "connected" with her... but I can't help but think was my imagination, or my strong desire that brought the feeling... even though I truly want to believe...
In the end, it matters not... She will always be with me... I will not let her memory fade in my heart.

Like I said before, I refuse to let go of my grief... it is part of my song now... and I love that it's about her.

[LightAngel]

I understand where you are coming from, but I have had many experiences that couldn't be explained as just my imagination. 

For example, my mother and I were sitting in the living room talking about a loved one who died, and suddenly the whole living room were smelling of the perfume she always wore, the smell was so strong that we both looked at each other in a chocking way.

We both knew instantly that it was a sign from her.


Edit: I also want to tell you that I am so sorry about your loss. I believe she is near you often - she visit to see how you are doing, and to send her love.

I wasn't sure if I should post this, but I had to.

[Maxmars]

I understand where you are coming from, but I have had many experiences that couldn't be explained as just my imagination. 

For example, my mother and I were sitting in the living room talking about a loved one who died, and sudden the whole living room were smelling of the perfume she always wore, the smell was so strong that we both looking at each other in a chocking way.

We both knew instantly that it was a sign from her.

Please forgive me, I didn't mean to say that such things are not real, or don't happen... I have absolutely no reason to doubt it...

It's more about how I feel that I am so consumed by my grief for her, that I might 'convince' myself of it happening, rather than actually experiencing it.

My wife and I spent many hours sitting on a small second floor patio, watching clouds, and birds, and the landscape during the day... and the stars at night... a habit we cultivated and kept even after quitting smoking.  We would talk... or rather I would babble and she would listen patiently... we would laugh, or just ponder the world and all it's minutiae... our conversations were often interrupted by an observation like "Look! There's a hawk!" or a fox, or bunnies... you know, nature...

After she died, whenever I stand out there and see a cardinal, or a new splash of flowers, I feel like she's seeing it with me... it's not a striking jolt of a thing, just a feeling... so I recall it as 'missing her.'  But just last week, I was thinking about her saying something to me, and I sat down to the computer and clicked on one of those "short" video things, quite random... and the very words I was thinking about were repeated... it shattered my composure, and I cried...

I'm not sure if that's the same thing... but it was what was in my mind when I mentioned the part about not being sure if it was me, or her... I know how I took it, I know how I felt, but maybe it was only synchronicity... and grief.

Thanks for responding, I wouldn't want to leave you with the idea that I don't think such things really happen.

[LightAngel]

Please forgive me, I didn't mean to say that such things are not real, or don't happen... I have absolutely no reason to doubt it...

It's more about how I feel that I am so consumed by my grief for her, that I might 'convince' myself of it happening, rather than actually experiencing it.

My wife and I spent many hours sitting on a small second floor patio, watching clouds, and birds, and the landscape during the day... and the stars at night... a habit we cultivated and kept even after quitting smoking.  We would talk... or rather I would babble and she would listen patiently... we would laugh, or just ponder the world and all it's minutiae... our conversations were often interrupted by an observation like "Look! There's a hawk!" or a fox, or bunnies... you know, nature...

After she died, whenever I stand out there and see a cardinal, or a new splash of flowers, I feel like she's seeing it with me... it's not a striking jolt of a thing, just a feeling... so I recall it as 'missing her.'  But just last week, I was thinking about her saying something to me, and I sat down to the computer and clicked on one of those "short" video things, quite random... and the very words I was thinking about were repeated... it shattered my composure, and I cried...

I'm not sure if that's the same thing... but it was what was in my mind when I mentioned the part about not being sure if it was me, or her... I know how I took it, I know how I felt, but maybe it was only synchronicity... and grief.

Thanks for responding, I wouldn't want to leave you with the idea that I don't think such things really happen.

Oh I didn't take it that way, but thank you for explaining it.

I just edited my post, but you replied before reading it.

I feel I have so much to share here, maybe I will do that later when I have more time.