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I have always had difficulties in considering the idea of an "American" culture.
Firstly, it always seemed to me that what America had is a kind of marriage of cultures. Of course, that doesn't mean that America has no distinct culture, just that whatever we consider that culture to be can't be defined in a vacuum - as if it was in and of itself - some thing that exists alone.
In my opinion, if we were to talk about "American" culture, we have to acknowledge that "other" cultures existing within it sometimes didn't consider it "uplifting" in any real sense. I think many, and even perhaps most people of American society genuinely wanted it to be uplifting, and did try to make it so, as best they could. A look at the social conversation of the past was largely populated by gentle and kind sentiment.
Then the "national character" became actively proselytized by the then "new mass media"... and "appearances" took precedence over reality, obscuring failures and deficiencies for the sake of 'global' and 'commercial' public relations. That's when we kind of "lost the thread" on our nascent burgeoning social benevolence. Suddenly, to identify and or highlight social problems became a social offense on its own...
Now the pendulum has swung far off center, celebrating or exalting "offense"... for 'views' and money. Now skills are honed to agitate towards outrage and strife, rather than harmony and cooperation. I'm not entirely comfortable with making definitive statements about it, because I believe that it is being "manipulated" and perhaps even "engineered" by people who want society to be a part of their "manageable" 'tool set.' People who live for the utility of "appearances."
But even as America can be characterized by this one aspect of reality, we cannot ignore that it is but one aspect. And the one aspect might be largely a matter of "appearances."
I agree with your idea that the state of affairs is lamentable... we are better than the image that exists. I start with a focus on the image-crafters for an explanation... because much of the discussed perception is "flavored" by them. But is it really flavored for our sake? Or for their own?